#D is the best person but they can't afford this at all!

[solitaryandwandering]

Please help! Dog in need!

I've never made a post asking for any kind of money, but this is urgent. On Friday, my best friend (I'll call them D) was driving back home from a long day working in near-100° heat when they noticed an emaciated dog walking in the middle of the road. When they pulled over the dog immediately came up to her and tried to get in her car (which she couldn’t do without help). She seems to be no younger than two years old but has already clearly been pregnant. It’s not uncommon to run across stray dogs in central/southern Virginia; we suspect she used to be a hunter’s dog, which are often purposefully starved. She has tons of fleas and tick bites, sores, is missing parts of two of her toes, and is now showing signs of ringworm. She showed signs of fear when my friend tried to put a leash on her but is amazingly super sweet and affectionate, always asking for pets and attention. D and her boyfriend have named her Melon.

[ID: Melon, a young dog with a light brown and black coat, looks towards the camera. She is emaciated, her tail between her legs. A large red collar attaches her to a leash. End ID]

My friend has been dog-sitting and asked that person if they could keep this dog in her basement until future notice. She would take her home if it weren’t for her cat. It’s highly unlikely this dog has been vaccinated. Since it’s the weekend she’s been unable to get in contact with any vets or shelters and animal control has been entirely unhelpful. They’ve given Melon a bath and given her food and water. Melon has had a bout of diarrhea, is discharging a bit from her eyes and has been bleeding from her vagina, but has otherwise been super cuddly and sweet.

[ID: Melon rests on the floor with her head on my friend's lap. They are scratching her chest. Melon is wearing a new collar. End ID]

D has created a GoFundMe to cover costs of more food, a new collar and name tag, and other care items. She still needs money to cover a future vet visit and what’s looking like a long road of recovery. Any money left over will be donated to local animal welfare charities. If you can, please donate or share this post. Anything helps. Melon deserves better!

Here is the GoFundMe with more info: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-support-melons-road-to-recovery?attribution_id=sl:3d8d3a67-9cb8-4d19-9dfc-19702f183617&utm_campaign=man_sharesheet_ft&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Yeenoghu, Demon Lord of Insatiable Hunger

It's been some years since I did my overhaul on the lore of the gnolls and how they embody the weird de/humanization that goes on with various monsters over d&d's history. Ever since I've had more than a few folks write in asking about how I would handle the default Gnoll God Yeenoghu, who exists in a similar state of "Kill everything that ever existed" to Orcus and a good portion of the game's other late game threats, thematically flat and not really useful for building stories around.

For a while I've avoided doing this post because I thought it might skew a little too close to my personal philosophy, and risk going from simply being influenced by my views to an outright soapbox. I personally hold that despite being part of our nature hunger is the source of the majority of human cruelty, and if society and cooperation are the tools we developed to best fight against the threat of famine, it is fear of that famine that allows the powerful to control society and secure their positions of privilege.

I've also dealt with disordered eating in a prior period of my life, alternating between neglecting my body's needs and punishing myself for needing in the first place. I'm well acquainted with hunger and the hollowing effect it can have, though I'd never claim to know it so well as someone who went hungry by anything other than choice and self hatred.

Learning to love food again saved saved my life. The joy of eating, of feeling whole and nourished, yes, but there was also the joy of making: of experimenting, improving, providing, being connected to a great tradition of cultivation which has guided our entire species.

If I was going to talk about an evil god of hunger, I was going to have to touch on all of that, and now that it's out in the open I can continue with a more thematic and narrative discussion on the beast of butchery below the cut.

What's wrong: Going by the default lore, there's not much that really separates Yeenoghu from any other chaotic evil mega-boss. He wants to kill everything in vicious ways, and encourages his followers to do the same. He's there so that the evil clerics can have someone to pray to because the objectively good gods are on the party's side and wouldn't help a bunch of cannibalistic slavers.

This is boring, we've done this song and dance before, and the only reason that there are so many demon lords/evil gods/archdevils like this is because the bioessentialism baked into the older editions of the game's lore was also a theological essentialism, and that every group had to have their own gods which perfectly embodied their ethos and there was no crossover whatsoever, themes be damned.

Normally I'd do a whole section about "what can be salvaged" from an old concept, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel right from the inset. Likewise my trick of combining multiple bits of underwritten d&d mythology to make a sturdier concept isn't going to work as most of d&d's other gods of hunger or famine are similar levels of paper thin.

How do we fix it: I want Yeenoghu to be the opposite of the path I found myself on, a hunger so great and so painful that it percludes happiness, cooperation, or even rational thought. Hunger not as a sumptuous hedonistic gluttony but a hollowing emptiness that compels violence and desperation. More than just psychopathic slaughter and gore, it is becalmed sailors drinking seawater to quench their thirst, the urban poor mixing sawdust and plaster into their food because their wages are not enough to afford grain.

This is where we get the idea of Yeenoghu as an enemy of society, not because violence is antithical to society ( I think we've learned by now how structured violence can really be) but because society fundamentally breaks down when it can't take care of the people who provide its foundations. Contrast the Beast of Butchery with one of my other favourite villainous famine spirits: Caracalla the grim trader, who embodies scarcity as a form of profit and control in to Yeenoghu's scarcity as suffering.

Into this we can also add the idea of the hungry dead, ghouls yes but also vampires, anything cursed with an eternal existence and appetites it no longer has the ability to sate. A large number of cultures across the world share the idea that the dead cannot rest while they are starving, which is why we leave offerings of food by their graves or pour out a glass to the ones we lost along the way.

On that topic, there's also a scrap of lore involving Doresain god of ghouls, who has been depicted as an on and off servant of Yeenoghu. Since I'm already remaking the mythology, I'd have Doresain act as a sort of saint or herald for the demon lord, the wicked but still partially reasonable entity who can villain monolog before the feral and all consuming demon god shows up.

Summing it all up: Yeenoghu isn't a demon you wittingly worship, it's a demon that claims you, marks you as its mouthpiece and through you seeks to consume more of the world. It gives you just enough strength to keep on living, keep on suffering, keep on filling that hole in your belly and feed it in turn.

The greatest of these mouthpieces is Doresain, an elf of ancient times who's unearthly hungers elevated him to demigod status. Known as the knawbone king, he dwells within a dread domain of the shadowfell, and is sought out only for his ability to intercede with the maw-fiend's rampages.

Signs: Unnaturally persistent hunger pangs, excessive drool and gurgling stomach noises, the growth of extra teeth in the mouth, stomachs splitting open into mouths.

Symbols: An animal with three jaws, a three tailed flail or spiked whip. A crown of knawed bones (Doresain)

Titles: Beast of butchery, the maw fiend, the knawing god

Artist

[freeworldallahmbaclass]

Another monument for me this time in my hometown Harlem New York City for finding the cure for HIV/AIDS that is what the statue symbolizing me finding the cure for HIV / AIDS and funny stuff it is on 135th street across from the Percy Sutton school and I laugh at the 32nd precinct now I found the cure for HIV / AIDS and I sponsor it get Cabenuva it will help you go undetected for HIV eliminating the chance of it developing into Aids the miracle has finally reached the general public and I sponsor it so forget the noise and take your medicine as prescribed so you grow up healthy and strong success is the best revenge guaranteed you heard it from me Cabenuva is that cure and I sponsor it thank you I'm honored for the privilege to help , thanks .

Thank you so much . I love you according to Christianity you are forgiven and according to Joel Osteen I can't compromise with that , no thank you I forgive you .

Thank you I'm honored . Wherever their is people starving and dying from hunger and HIV AIDS use my page to help that country whether it's India , Brazil and not talked about regions and areas in poor neighborhoods in places like Africa and raise the salary for people in Dhaka give them water pumps and more on their paychecks so they can afford to take care of their families thank you it has been great helping the people goodbye and good luck to you and your family .

Eat good , be content with the little bit that you do have like good friends and put God first and everything else that you want and better yet need will be added to you , and read these books from my personal coach , trainer and mother Joyce Meyer and new Minister and teacher of New York City my mom and your mother Joyce Meyer . I'm just happy that all my friends are successful in life and prospering in their career and have blessed families even though the puppet masters had me on the computer trying to hate on them on facebook and this social media tumblr page for years typing on the computer trying to hate on them but they are good and doing great in life and now my conscious is clear and it is not as expensive pain for me no more as long as they good great music great wives and kids and longevity in their career I decided to go back to them as their friend and stay with my friends and keep that circle of friends that I grew up with and keep the hope for myself because I still believe in love for myself like that Vado and Mary J Blige song beautiful Mary J Blige , I got the fame I wanted and the mother play I wanted sponsored by the 2nd stage theater I got what I wanted basically now I'm at peace with myself now and is being educated by my ministers and pastors and my second call to do something I love , music and stay with God first place in my life .

The greatest donation I can give to anybody , I give you a dollar to get your life together and in some places it can pay your bail and God will take that hold off of your life and free your head from the birds I mean the vultures and stop Satan your enemy from stealing the word God's word from your heart and memory .

Congratulations to me for my gift 🎁 from the Brooklyn public library a book called the making of a king 👑 by Robert Hardman about me King Charles the third and the modern monarchy and them crowning Nicki Minaj and Cardi B real Queens of the world officially like official Queens of the world now that is hot thank you both sponsor me and my practical basic education and it is good since I'm a private person and shy away from the crowd both women is people that the public the hood like more than me and love so they could be friends with them they are like my protectors what I mean is like I give you somebody you could be friends with if you don't like me a lot of people don't a d aren't going to like you can't like the person helping that is how it is that is always how it is with leaders and since people see me as the geek type quiet reserved guy my female friends women friends are more cool and outgoing and love to meet people and chill with the common people and party with them while I stay to myself , thank you it has been an honor helping with this page I hope this help find you in good health good luck and goodbye , thanks .

I woke up here and I inherited it the same place where I'm at its bad but it is mines I inherited it , thank you .

Yes I do stay in a not so clean and dangerous place well a dirty place if you call it that but if you know anything about me I actually own the neighborhoods I live in I own the hospital my own hospital given to me by a Governor it's my incubator , I own the parks in my neighborhood New York City parks now all of them now and where I live in where the girls don't get to come to see me here but I venture out to see them sometimes we are cool they call it a liability but I inherited these neighborhoods and New York City and a rough and dangerous place to live but it is okay and hopefully my goodness , hospitable charm and love for them warms them and help them like I said thank you I'm working on getting out of here so I will see you outside thank you .

I'm King 👑 the decree from the British Monarchy thank you that is huge thanks and own the 2nd stage theater is mines and no I don't mess with street people no more I did everything for them got them Citibikes computers on Rikers Island and legalized weed for them and I moved on from them and Governor Kathy Hochul told me to dump them slim down lose the weight from the overload of carrying my enemies and their girlfriends off of me and get my life together and I'm doing just that no thank you that should make us friends .

I'm going to end it on this note here Vado from Harlem a rap musician and Mary J Blige got a song called I still believe in love that is somebody from my neighborhood that made it a way for me to be able to get a future for myself financially through a regular paying job and getting myself together and I said thank you to him and Mary thanks now Im stepping off from them and wish them the best of luck in their career and goodbye to me from my old neighborhoods and people from my past so that I can get my life together anybody got any ideas on how a super hero can get a good paying job , see you on there side of success personal success thanks and goodbye it has been an honor helping the people .

[chirpsythismorning]

This is everything the Stranger Things writers have posted publicly about the WGA strike:

TIMELINE

May 3rd:

Stranger Things writer Caitlin Schneiderhan tweets picture from personal Twitter account of sign from the strike that reads 'Pay us or Steve Harrington is toast'

May 6th:

Official Stranger Writers Twitter account makes post on behalf of the Duffers Brothers. They have since pinned this tweet to their profile. "Duffers here. Writing does not stop when filming begins. While we're excited to start production with our amazing cast and crew, it is not possible during this strike. We hope a fair deal is reached soon so we can all get back to work. Until then -- over and out. #wgastrong

Bonus:

May 12th:

Stranger Things writer Kate Trefry posts picture from personal Tumblr account of sign that reads, 'Byler won’t write itself'

As far as I know, the two writers that posted on their personal socials are the only writers from ST that even have personal accounts that are public, whereas the rest of the writers do not.

What does make me take a pause though, is that, while yes they did post these pictures from their personal accounts, which is about as official as it gets, they also cryptically did not include themselves in said pictures...

This just got me thinking about how Stranger Things is quite literally Netflix and vise versa. They are practically one in the same, where one without the other just doesn't make sense.

While this conflict of interest might run deep for many writers out there fearing to speak out against their employer, for us, the consumers, the fans, we as a collective have so much more power than we realize.

In contrast to the writers, streamers can't just fire their consumer base sometime down the line, out of spite for speaking out. Without consumers, neither Stranger Things nor Netflix would be what it is today.

We have the affordance of being able to speak up the loudest of anyone. And so why wouldn't we take advantage of that?

There are so many people out there protesting: writers, actors, others in the industry and even outside of it who are also taking a stand, many who need support so that they can continue to fight in the upcoming days, weeks, months, without being deterred by corporations that are making them feel greedy for demanding a contract that at most, asks that they be paid fairly.

And so I want to encourage anyone that is reading this, but fellow fans of Stranger Things especially, who have so much power in this strike when it comes to getting Netflix's attention, to consider taking the time to do whatever you can individually + with the masses as a community in order to best support the strike.

Follow the Strike! If you're active on various social media already, please be sure to follow the official accounts advocating for the strike via Instagram (@writersguildwest/@wgaeast), via Twitter (@WGAWest/@WGAEast). Engage with posts from folks that are out there daily, many with whom you can find by following tags like #WGAStrong, #WGAStrike and #WritersStrike. Although most fans are not able to join in picketing themselves, we can at least recognize all of those out there's individual efforts and do our best to show that we're paying attention and listening!

Spread the word! Show support any way you can by sharing posts and articles about the strike, or even fun memes to inform others in a more engaging way. This is the official site for the WGA strike if you want to learn more about what’s going on before diving in! And make sure to stay up-to-date here as things continue to unfold!

Donate! The Entertainment Community Fund is endorsed by the WGA for anyone that wants to support those affected by the strike financially. And this thread on Twitter is an incredible resourse, as it provides an ‘easy, one-click, stress-free, accessible-to-all-budgets’ ways you can support folks on the front lines.

Also! Consider donating through this link for the Entertainment Community Fund, where the money donated still goes directly to that fund, this is just an organizing page for Stranger Things fans specifically! By allowing fans to see how much of an impact we make as a collective, in real time, this could encourage even more ST fans to want to contribute. In a best case scenario, if this GoFundMe were to reach impressive proportions of donations from fans, that could lead to news outlets reporting on it, which could allow an opportunity for even more eyes on the strike, while also even more importantly being able to provide financial support to those that need it.

Trend! On social media, use #StrangerFansforWGA to trend or even just to reach other fans also looking to come together to support the strike!

While I know this post probably wont reach anywhere outside of Tumblr, I want to make a point to encourage those of you that are on other platforms to inform fans in those spaces about the strike and what they can do to help!

We might not all agree on everything, but I think we can agree on at least one thing... @Netflix & all major streamers and networks out there, who are still refusing to make a fair deal: PAY YOUR WRITERS!

In the mean time, if you're interested in working on different ideas for initiates we can carry out as a fandom, please reach out to me! I might only one person and I might not have all the answers and solutions, but I do know that with more of us working together, our odds of making an impact are much greater!

Over and out!

[l-in-the-light]

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Zou (part 11)

Let's continue the "love is a hurricane" tale after the small break :D This time we finish up Zou and get ready for hard decisions to be made and undesired seperation approaching!

A reminder that in Punk Hazard Luffy immediately picked up on Joker and inquired Law to know more, because he realized Law is somehow connected to that person. Picture below for comparison's sake:

But on Zou Lufy learns Sanji is connected to Germa and he doesn't care nor does he want to know anything more. Even Nami is slightly taken aback (though it's Luffy's usual behaviour here!), but that's also because she realized for the first time that Sanji was lying all this time to them and she doesn't know what to think about it.

Law is getting special treatment, basically became Luffy's special interest, and he has no idea about it!

Again, Luffy intends to go alone and do his best not to declare the war on Big Mom in the process. That's because he has his alliance with Law and they can't afford an extra side conflict on the way. Now, would Luffy care about any of that, if it wasn't Law he was having an alliance with? My bet's still on "no".

Still remembering Neko Mamushi's name and that's because he knows seeing Neko Mamushi means he will see Heart Pirates and Law if he sticks around, heh.

Now let's look at things from Law's perspective, even if just for the laughs, shall we? He went to see his Heart Pirates, spent some time with them, then relayed a message to Luffy through Pedro that they're waiting for Strawhats to join them (because remember? Heart Pirates can't leave the whale forest!). Law then learns that either 1. Luffy never joins them 2. Pedro tells him Luffy said "later".

So the result is that Law arrives here seeking Luffy (just like Luffy wanted him to, btw), but I wonder what he might be thinking... "how dare you, Mugiwara-ya, I told you to come and you have more important matters?!" or perhaps "Are they in some kind of trouble? Mugiwara-ya is always in trouble, so it's not unlikely, maybe I should go and check things out". Personally, my bet is on a mix of both, seeing his rather unhappy face above when he looks at Strawhats doing some shanenigans with Nekomamushi haha.

And this is the scene that welcomes Law as he finds Luffy and his crew. He's clearly confused by whatever is happening in front of him. And then Luffy notices him like *immediately* and greets him with huge enthusiasm. Because of course he would, he was trying to be so brave and not miss him every second they're apart, and yet that immediate reaction proves us that Law was constantly on his mind anyway and his eyes were always looking around to spot him the very moment he will arrive. Which is exactly what happened.

Now let's take a look at Law curiously holding his sword in both hands, because there's a story there, shown to us only through visual language. His sword was resting on his arm, but for some reason he grabs it after he witnessed all the chaos. Just a moment later it will return back to his shoulder again. Why?

Just take a look at this:

Remember how he did the same thing much, much earlier in same arc? He grabbed his sword when he sensed danger or a stranger approaching them (just like Zoro). This is how he prepares to unshield his Kikoku so he can be ready to attack, if neccessary, but he unshields his sword only when he feels malignant intent. A good swordsman is always on alert, after all!

And he does the exactly same thing when he looks at the commotion around Luffy and Nekomamushi (but he's a bit more cautious here). He sees the ruckus and his first instinct isn't to question Luffy or scold him for causing trouble. Nah, none of that. His very first reaction is to take his weapon and prepare to fight, because if Luffy is in danger, it's his duty to help! Ain't that freaking sweet? :D and all of that shown without any words needed, heh.

"I came to give you an introduction", he says while his eyes aren't even visible, so we know he's telling us bullshit :D (also notice, the sword is back on his shoulder, because Luffy's cheerful greeting put his mind at ease that he doesn't have to attack anyone and that everything is alright!)

Heart Pirates look like they lowkey rehearsed that introduction pose. They remind me of heroes from some Power Rangers show. I wonder if that's how wacky Sora Warrior of the Sea comic is :D because we can expect that if Law is a fan, all of his North Blue crew is as well. They look so goofy and cheerful in comparison to his stoic, cool and broody energy.

Luffy's like "yo!!", because he actually met them already, this is his second time when he sees them and had some interaction with them at Zou, so it's not like he woud need introduction, lol (sneaky Luffy is a mood, I swear). But why would Luffy care if he got a proper introduction or not anyway? After all he didn't do one for Law either! In fact I don't think Luffy ever did any introductions before.

And it's true ever since the beginning of the manga. Nami didn't get introduced to Zoro, Zoro didn't get introduced to Nami (he had to ask her himself who she is!). The best they can get is "this is going to be our crewmate/navigator", no names included. Lol. That also explains why Zoro is so used to Luffy's crap and in Punk Hazard he just stays around Law and doesn't question it, until the guy goes towards Sunny, lol. Just see it for yourself below:

And all of this happened despite Law asking Luffy to "let the rest of his crew know". Usually Luffy not making any introductions slips our minds, because whenever new crewmate appears they're all together so it's not even an issue. But sometimes, we get reminded Luffy didn't really learn manners and this is one of those examples. Law remembers the offense though.

Especially after Luffy told him he would do that. But he never did. LOL.

Just look at those frames right next to each other. Luffy tells them to "get along" (nakayoku), and Law, after refusing to introduce his Hearts crew to Luffy, says the same line but with negation "You don't have to get along". That's his revenge, right there. Luffy didn't introduce his crew to him, so Law is not gonna introduce his Hearts to him either. Ba dum tss.

Luffy is completely unaffected by it, because it's Luffy. The ones who are actually affected are Hearts and they boo their captain for it. They call him out for his bullshit behaviour, which makes me think that 1. they're allowed to complain whenever they feel like (around timeskip they also complained to Law that they want to go already to the New World). 2. Law usually DOES give introductions, because they're completely dumbfounded by this situation.

You all still need more proof this was Law's revenge? :D And if you believe this now, I need to remind you that my deduction about Law's nicknames for Strawhats all the way back in part 4 of this analysis series is probably true as well: he did not recognize Franky, Usopp and Brook, because the last time he checked on Strawhats was around Sabaody and when they returned after timeskip he was already stuck in Punk Hazard, not able to read the newest info on them.

Now let's take a look at this scene, in which Law scolds Luffy for "letting" Sanji go with Big Mom. On the surface level, nothing unusual, right? After all it's just yet another scene in which Law is worried and scolding Luffy. Except that Law never did that before when it comes to Luffy's own crew. Law knows this is an alliance, Luffy is the captain of his crew, he's the one responsible for them, not Law. In Punk Hazard Law made sure to always leave things up to Luffy when it concerned his crew, always doing the "relay the message to your crew" attempt and never telling them anything directly.

But here, in Zou, Law is openly scolding Luffy *in front of his own crew* about the situation with Sanji, a Strawhat. Honestly, it seems like he's stepping here completely out of line. It's almost like Law is part of Strawhats and has the right to be angry at the situation, not just voice his concern as an ally. This is the moment that Law starts seriously treating Strawhats like they are his second crew, imo. There's no artificial distance anymore, no "I'm just allied with them, I have to know my place" frame of mind. Whatever concerns Strawhats is clearly Law's problem as well now. It kinda started already in Dressrosa, when Law told half of the crew to just sail off to Zou, but then the situation was different, they were in danger, it could be seen as emergency situation. Zou though? No excuses here, Mr Trafalgar Law. Are you sure this is just an alliance to you?

Law finally voices his real thoughts here, because he doesn't want Zou to suffer even more than it did already (it is homeland of his friend Bepo after all). And he's throwing back the same argument Luffy threw at him in Dressrosa! Luffy looks like he's actually at a loss here and no wonder, because what can they do? Let's look at things from Luffy's perspective. His crewmate is stuck with Big Mom, they have to go to Kaido but can't yet, and they also can't stay here at Zou because they're putting minks at risk. Their options are very limited and situation is very complicated, Law made sure Luffy understands it. But their talk is interrupted by the minks so we will never know in which direction Law actually wanted to take it (we can tell from Luffy's face that Luffy is not gonna offer any actual feedback here). Or do we have a hunch about that actually?

Let's look at the title of the chapter, with Vivi on the cover (we all know she actually wanted to tell Luffy to "take her with him", but she had responsibilities to the country she also deeply loved, so she's also relevant for this chapter's title!), Luffy asks Pekoms to take him with him... and curiously enough Law shouts at Luffy, making the exactly same face expression. Maybe that's the direction he actually wanted the talk to go? It would fit his personality ngl, that he wouldn't want to leave Luffy to go alone to another Emperor's territory, without any decent plan. Especially because we know how much he worries for him all the time.

Feasting, Strawhats and Hearts bonding happily together. Even Pandaman joined in! Not Law though lol.

Ninja time :D Strawhats really push the agenda that there's no shame in loving ninjas and other cool stuff. They have so many requests too! That must have influenced Law that it's alright to voice his own request as well (but he waits with it, hoping maybe someone else can voice it first, so he doesn't have to, haha). He's murmuring it and it fits him so well, because he's not one to admit too openly how much he wants to actually see it, which makes this scene all the more special. Strawhats, and especially Luffy, really have a good influence on him. Even Zoro joins in, right after Law, probably to show support like a good bro he is.

And Raizou starts his show from Law's request! What a great guy Raizou is <3 Law's impressed face is so funny, especially in comparison to Luffy's and Usopp's, haha.

Law is so surprised at being asked for the help as well. His eyes are like "what? why me as well?". As much as Law likes to be appreciated and recognized as the captain of his own crew, he also doesn't really expect the extra attention he sometimes is getting. Unlike Luffy who is more or less used to it already.

Luffy, surprisingly enough, proposes Momo an alliance. They're not beating up Kaido instead of samurai, they're cooperating together. What's important here to note is that Luffy did that because Momo was begging him, like he's inferior to Luffy, almost like a servant. Luffy stops him, wants him to raise his head and instead join hands. He even makes sure to talk to Momo on the same eye level when he proposes the alliance, because people in alliance are equal. But where did Luffy learn that from?

Perhaps Law, who is always trying to speak to Luffy on same eye level, especially (but not only) when it's about important stuff. There's at least one scene like that in every arc. In Punk Hazard when they're captured Luffy is half-lying on the floor in a stupid position. Law is lying in exactly same way instead of trying to present himself to look cool, like he usually does. Why? Because if he sat up he wouldn't be on same eye level as Luffy. In Dressrosa, Luffy even tries to speak to Law who is lying down on Moocy on same eye level as well, by leaning down as much as he can (which is sweet of him, but not exactly working out in these circumenstances <3). On Zou Law comes closer and talks about stuff with Luffy on the stairs, because it's the easiest way to casually stand on eye level if he just stays one step below. And in Wano, Law also remembers about eye level. He even leans down to speak to Luffy. It doesn't matter that they're quarreling, eye level is a sacred rule, no disrespectfully placing yourself above your Luffy ally is ever allowed!

That's why when Luffy says this, I think Law kinda expects him to finish with different word. "Don't ever bow your heads, don't get down on the ground, because an alliance means we're equal!" is what Law would want to hear, seeing how he acts around Luffy. But he gets a "means we're friends" instead which throws him off so much he can't be quiet about it. Still, he doesn't scold Luffy for this and accepts that if it means friendship then it's friendship, and he does become friends with Kinemon as the result. Even if Luffy got it wrong, Law is gonna follow through with it. After all, he chose this fate for himself when he first proposed Luffy an alliance. If Luffy thinks it's about friendship, so be it friendship. In Law's novel we can see that Law doesn't really have a problem making friends, especially with people he saved before.

But did Luffy actually get it wrong? I feel like he played Law a little here, because Luffy clearly understands what equality is. He pushed Law's boundaries a little bit further to open him up to people. Alliances are nice, but friendships are nicer. And Luffy wants Law to make some new friends instead of keeping himself always at a distance. But since this is Luffy we're talking about, it might also be as simple as him thinking friendship means equality, and actually: he's not wrong about that part, definitely.

And I love how Law grumpily asks Luffy why the latter didn't ask about his own opinion. Luffy is like "But I knew already that you would say yes. Am I wrong about that?", and of course he's not, but he should have still asked anyway instead of deciding for both of them, even if he knows Law well enough already to assume his stance on all of this. It's not just about having faith in another person's beliefs, but it's also important to make sure they're on the same page already. What if Law had some important doubts to voice before agreeing? Luffy couldn't have guessed that.

It's actually like that all the time in their alliance. Law only protests or complains when he wants Luffy to notice some stuff, even if it seems REALLY nitpicky overall. He never does that when things get done (no matter in which way as long as the end goal is met), or when he already agreed to stuff (even if he doesn't like the consequences it led to). There's really just two scenarios in which he minds: it's when Luffy misses the mark about something important or when Law is worried like hell.

Do you think he acts angry here because Luffy already knows perfectly well what Law's own answer will be? Or is he annoyed by Luffy's confidence in Law's answer without even having to ask him first? Or maybe salty that he can't deny? I wonder if he realizes how much Luffy is actually paying attention to him.

And a new friendship alliance is completed :D Law even joins in for "hand bumping" part, because Luffy earlier declared "joining hands" is an important part of making an alliance. They never joined hands in Punk Hazard, but here Law actually listens to Luffy and follows through (despite his own touch-related trauma!).

After they leave the whale, Law seems to be deep in thought. Maybe he's returning back to the talk they had about Sanji's situation and deciding which would be the best course of action now for Law himself to take. Should he go with Luffy? Or would it be better to move on to Wano and just have faith that Luffy can push through without him?

Seems he reached his decision. Faith in Luffy, it is.

Look here. Before the whole earth shaking incident happened Law is far away (and out of frame), but the very moment situation gets unpredictable and dangerous, he positions himself close to Luffy, just so he can protect him if needed. He's also the only one capable of keeping his balance, Mr Steady Two Legs No Matter What Is Happening. Of course in this situation, when no one else can even stand anymore, he knows he's needed more than ever in case something even worse could happen.

Law doesn't say anything, but he is there when Luffy's group is leaving. He also clenches his fist, probably trying to stay strong in his resolve and decision (to go to Wano instead of with Luffy), but you can guess already how Trafalgar Law operates: he's most likely worried af under that stoic resting bitch face. Luffy is unusually cheerful on their parting. It's almost like the callback to their reunion at Punk Hazard, when he flashes Law the most beaming smile we ever saw Luffy do. And here it's the same. I bet you anything the reason is the same in both cases: he wants a certain someone to stop worrying over him so much and he does that by smiling the brightest he can, to show that things will be alright.

Because let's face it, samurais won't be worried about Luffy here (why would they? Kinemon truly believes Luffy to be so very strong!), neither would be the Strawhats crew (they believe in their captain and instead tell Luffy not to worry about them!). But Law? He would worry no matter what, it's just the way he is. That smile from Luffy is so bright mostly for Law.

And then Luffy yeets them off the elephant, and I'm sure it does not help Trafalgar Law to feel less worried, haha. Luffy's idea here is to show Law that he's not gonna waste time and will take the shortest possible route, so they can reunite as fast as they can. It's the same mindset he had in Dressrosa: jumping off the cliff to save them time. And indeed Law probably had a flashback to that in this moment, but he does not hold such fond memory of it like Luffy does, lol. He's like "that idiot is doing it again!".

Suffer Law suffer, because you will never stop worrying about this little dumbass you care about so very much!

[clowningaroundmars]

aromantic mike chilton for @aggressivelyarospec week!!!! :D

accompanying story under the cut!

It didn't work out with Julie.

They had broken up and decided it would be best to stay friends. After all, with Mike... nothing really changed at all. Like... nothing.

And that was kinda the problem.

Julie didn't think herself to be too judgmental of a person, not after everything everyone's been through. She and the Burners worked hard, played hard, and succeeded together (oftentimes against all odds).

They slept in cuddle piles after dinner some nights whenever Julie could slip away for more than a day without arousing her dad's suspicions. They passed bongs around for a lung-hacking hit or two, went skinny-dipping in the lake at night, patched up each other's bloody wounds countless times.

And then somewhere down the line, Julie fell in love with Mike.

She had no idea when exactly, since she doesn't really do feelings like that, can't afford to with a life like hers. But it happened... somehow.

Julie couldn't quite place exactly what it was that initially drew her to him, especially at first. Sure, the guy was friendly, decisive, assertive without being too overbearing, and unbearably charming. But.

It was the charm that caught poor Julie totally off-guard, really. She'd often hear her father ranting and raving about his golden-prodigal-son-turned-traitor, and his ID photo in his file wasn't really much to look at, either. Julie would never admit it out loud, but she had snuck down to Motorcity for the first time ever with low expectations.

Later, she came back up to her pod in Deluxe with stars in her eyes.

But she wasn't in love with him then, no. She knew this because she was pretty sure her constant Mike Thoughts did not manifest until after the kids all went to Antonio's together for the first time.

It was summertime, around nine months after the group was (un)officially formed. The heat had Mike shirking his jacket and leaving it in Mutt, and his old t-shirt was getting a tad bit tight after all the exercise he was getting around the hideout, especially after Texas moved his workout gear in and Mike took him up on his offer for semi-regular sparring sessions.

And boy, did that Mike fella fill out. Mhmm.

Even Julie-- a girl who was mostly blind to typical male affections directed at her in school-- had to admit to herself that when Mike put on a little more weight in the right places, when his biceps bulged a bit as he flexed an arm and his shoulders got a bit wider... it took a lot more effort to wrench her studious gaze away.

Geez Louise.

Before long, she was doodling their initials and combining both of their names in her little sketchpad. Gag. Gross.

But Mike never seemed to pay attention to her the same way in return. She didn't catch him looking away from her at inopportune times, and he'd never lay a single hand on her aside from a typical friendly pat on the shoulder, or a comfortable lean on an arm while the Burners all lounged around during movie nights. Hell, he seemed more affectionate with his best friend Chuck than he was with her most times.

So she kept her thoughts to herself. Easy peasy. She kept secrets from her dad, from her friends, and now from Mike. Like everything else, she created a neat, separate file in her head and tucked that little secret away. She managed to conceal it for long enough.

Until it became too big to ignore.

And then it happened.

And it really just... happened. Julie hardly registered herself even doing it.

It happened like this: Mike had rescued Julie from certain death at the lake after she crashed an out-of-control 9 Lives out through the barricades and into the water, and they were panting and coughing up water on the sand after Mike succeeded in dragging her out. Dutch and Texas were busy racing around and distracting the Kanebots, luring them all away from the pair.

Julie didn't say anything. Neither of them did. Julie just... surged forward when she blinked the water out of her eyes and saw him, his angelic face hovering mere inches away from hers. She remembered the dewey drops on his long lashes and the warmth of his lips more than anything else.

And then she's pretty sure she blacked out afterwards because the next thing she remembers, she's waking up on the couch wrapped in blankets and towels, wearing Chuck's hoodie.

She doesn't ask anyone why Chuck opted to be the guy to lend his clothes to her.

(It wasn't Chuck who lent it to her though.)

After Jacob makes sure she has a steaming mug of soup in her hands and is generally fussed over enough, he bids her a goodnight and leaves a big holoscreen playing old-timey anime shows for her.

Shortly afterwards, Mike slips into the room on feet far too quiet for a rowdy teenage boy like him. Julie almost misses his entry and startles when she notices him casually leaning on a wall over to her right, almost blending in against the garish grafitti and street signs.

They sat down and spoke quietly, privately.

Julie appreciated that Mike had enough tact and forethought not to confront her in front of all of the guys. Thank god. Julie wouldn't even know how to handle the endless teasing that would inevitably assault her from all angles if they ever even suspected that she had a crush on Mike.

And how embarrassing, really! The only girl on the team falling for the charming and roguish leader of a group of rebels. Double gag.

It was by some miracle that no one ever suspected Julie's true feelings, and that the actual love interest found out before anyone else did. Lucky her!

And incredibly, Mike shared her feelings too! Who would've thought it! Definitely not Julie, that's for sure.

Mike hadn't even seemed to glance her way at all in all the time they had known each other. He always maintained the same level of friendliness with her as he did with the other guys. But he confessed then that he knew Julie was special, and that their bond that grew in the time they had known each other was special, too.

Wow. Look at them, both hiding their feelings so well! It's like they were meant to be.

So they agreed to go steady.

Eventually, they told the rest of the Burners. Well, it really was just that it was kinda hard for them to ignore when Julie would sneak her index finger over to Mike's hand and hook it onto his pinkie as they walked back to their cars after a quick errand run for the Skylarks or an easy mission.

So they decided to make the announcement at Antonio's, which Julie thought was perfectly poetic. It was where she first fell in love with Mike, and now here they were a year and a half later, making it official.

They didn't expect the other guys' reactions, though. The Burners received the news... lukewarmly.

"You guys were in love?" Texas spewed bits of pizza all over the table as he chewed with his mouth open. Ugh. Typical Texas.

"Oh! Wow... uhm. Congrats, guys." Chuck seemed to hide behind his hair even more as his shoulders hiked up in a nonchalant shrug.

Dutch rubbed his chin. "...Yeah. Uh, yeah...? Cool. Congrats, you two."

And then silence fell over the table.

"Is... is there a problem with this, or?" Julie dared to press.

Everyone silently exchanged glances.

Mike-- bless his heart-- misread the situation and clasped his hands together on the table.

"Guys, look," he started, "this isn't gonna change anything about the team. We're still gonna be friends, I’m not prioritizing Julie over anyone else on missions. It's just... we're gonna... we're gonna be the Burners, except I’m dating Jules now! That's all!"

Mike smiled warmly at all his friends. Chuck chewed on his lip.

Dutch bobbed his head thoughtfully. Then, after a while, he said "nah, yeah. We figured. I mean, you're a pretty great guy so it's not like we thought you were gonna up and abandon us or anything. It's just that... uh. So when did this uhhh, yanno, this whole thing start?"

Julie blinked.

Mike cocked his head. "Start?" He asked.

"Y'know, like when did y'all start liking each other? Because uh, no offense, but this is kinda comin' out of the blue for us. Literally nobody thought this was gonna be a thing. Tell us some stories!"

Mike blew out a breath and leaned back in the booth. Julie smiled.

"Weeeellll," Julie squinted with excitement and then let the cat out of the bag.

She told them all about it, how in this very same booth she watched as Mike's t-shirt stretched over his muscles all those months ago and how his smile seemed to shine brighter than the diner's neon signs. Then about how she leaned against Mike's broad chest after agonizing for hours over not being able to free him from her father's maximum-security prison that one time. About all the dreams she'd have of them together, the intimate late-night talks they'd have while having a couple of drinks on the rooftop of some abandoned building. How she loved his bright eyes and strong hands...

When she finished, she had a dreamy kind of look all over her face. Mike had a brow quirked, but he smiled back at her all the same.

Everyone exchanged glances again.

"So Mike. Was it like that for you?" Chuck asked eventually. It had a strange sort of lilt to it, like he was in on an inside joke that Julie wasn't.

She bristled a bit.

"Oh! Uh." Mike glanced around quickly. "Not... really? But Julie's super pretty, so when she confessed to me, I was pretty stoked."

Mike grinned like a goofball. Julie grinned like a goofball. The rest of the Burners looked skeptical.

"Hm. Cool! Well, great." Chuck turned back to his loaded pizza slice.

And just like that, things mostly went back to normal.

And, uh... Mike was right, this... really wasn't changing anything between them and the Burners. Like at all.

A small part of Julie was kind of hurt by it, but she tried to wave the feeling away. It was nonsense, and she should be happy. Mike loved her! He just wasn't a romantic type, that's all. He loved his friends, loved being a Burner... it was fine.

Right?

It was normal for her to have to remind Mike every now and then to go out on a date with her. He's a busy guy, and this was his first relationship. Julie just had to be patient.

Patient... patient. Yeah. She could be patient.

It was when Chuck joined them for their sixth "movie date" in a row that the patience was starting to run a bit thin, though.

Chuck and Mike settled side-by-side on the communal couch, swapping snacks as easily as breathing and nursing a popcorn bowl between them. Mike hooked an arm over Julie's shoulder though, so Julie said nothing.

It was a couple of months later when Mike makes a quiet confession to her as they laid together in his pristine bed one night.

"I don't really like kissing all that much," he mumbles, face half-buried into his pillows. "But I like holding you. Is that okay?"

Julie's heart sinks into the covers. But she nods anyways. "Yeah. That's okay."

"Really? Do ya mean it? It's not weird or anything, right? We can still be together but not kiss. Maybe I can give you forehead kisses instead?"

Julie sighed softly. "Mmnyeah, that's fine."

"It's not you, it's me, Jules. I just--"

"Mike. Trust me, I get it. It's okay, seriously."

Mike gave her a grateful smile back.

Damnit. Well.

Anyways, life continued on. Julie resigned herself to accepting the fact that her boyfriend was just simply a guy's guy.

Julie liked cars but Mike was all over Mutt. Loved the damn thing more than he loved her, honestly. She loved being a Burner, but it seemed like it was Mike's purpose, like he was more devoted to the city under the dome than he was to his girlfriend. And above all, Mike loved the Burners. All of them. He spent a bit more time with Chuck than he did with anyone else in the team, but he was always there for everyone just as passionately.

Which was. Fine.

Freeing Motorcity from her father's reign of terror was indeed way more important than holding hands with a cute boy!

Duh, of course, stupid Julie.

Whatever.

When they inevitably broke up, it blindsided Mike. He thought they were the best of buds! The bestest of buds-- aside from him and Chuck, of course! But while he loved Chuck fiercely, his love for Julie was... different. Fierce but different. He could never describe it in words but he knew what he was feeling was real.

He loved Julie! So when she suddenly broke up with him, it was like getting hit with a sack of flour out of nowhere.

They were leaned up against Mutt's hood on a cliff overlooking Lake Erie when Julie finally broke the news. They were casually smoking a cigarette, passing it back and forth. Mike's idea of a "date." Anyways.

"I can't really keep doing this, Mike." Julie sighed out a cloud of smoke. She said it so matter-of-factly, as casually as if she were simply commenting on the weather.

Mike whipped round to look at her. "Keep doing what?"

"This," Julie threw her hands up and tucked them into her vest pockets after handing Mike the cigarette back. "This... 'relationship'. It's not working out."

"What... whaddya mean? We just started dating, it's kinda too early to tell--"

"No, Mike." Julie interrupted loudly. Her eyes were avoiding Mike's face carefully. "No... it's not. We've been together for months and we have never moved on from our friendship. You... just admit it, dude. You're just not into me."

Mike pushed himself off of Mutt and placed his hands on both of her shoulders, forcing them to stand face-to-face. "Julie, look at me." He had his jaw set.

Julie swallowed as she peered up at him from her bangs.

"I love you more than you can ever know. I know I’m messing up, but... but I’m trying, okay? Just give us one more chance, Jules. I can make it right, I know it!"

Julie took a step back, wrinkling her nose. "Mike! Just give it up, okay? I know you don't feel the same about me as I do about you," she pleaded, mortified. "It's okay! It's fine! We can just move on and let it go!"

"B-but it's not! No, Julie c'mon, bro--"

"Bro?!" Julie exploded, hands in the air now. "Are you hearing yourself right now? Am I your girlfriend, or your bro?"

Mike gaped at her like a fish, mouth opening just to close again. Then, he hunched his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets.

He kicked a couple of rocks off the cliff, watching the pebbles scatter and plummet dozens of feet below.

Then he ran his hands through his hair, a nervous habit of his, before returning back to Julie.

He exhaled loudly. "What... what's the difference? You... isn't that what dating is all about? Being best friends with your partner?"

Julie glared at him. "Yes! And it's also about being more than that, too!"

Mike scoffed. "More than friends? What does that even mean? Nothing is more important than friendship, Jules. Not in Motorcity."

"Nothing is more important than friendship?! Mike--" Here, Julie took a step back to pinch her nose and exhale. "Look. When I confessed my feelings to you for the first time, what were you feeling?"

"What was I feeling? Uh, I dunno, happiness I guess? What, did you want me to say that I didn't care? I care about your feelings, Julie! I do!"

"So you started dating me because you didn't want to hurt my feelings?!" Julie shouted.

"Where are you getting that from?!" Mike shouted back.

"Mike! You are just not into me! I can just tell! It's okay! W-we can just be friends, like how we used to be. I don't even know why you're fighting me so hard on this, I'm the one breaking up with you. You can't change my mind!"

"Right," Mike huffed, "because you don't love me anymore. No, I get it. It's fine."

They glared at each other for a beat.

Then, Julie shoved her hands back into her vest pockets. "No, Mike. I do love you. I just think..." she sighed, all the wind in her sails blowing away, "I just think it's best for us to go our own separate ways."

Mike startled. "Wait, what? Jules... are you...? You're not leaving the Burners, are you?"

"No, I'm not leaving the Burners." Julie says through clenched teeth. "I'm just gonna take a quick break and then when I come back? We're gonna be just friends again, Mike. Alright?"

Mike inhales deeply, his own anger trickling out of him like water as well. "... Fine. Fine, yeah. Whatever you want, Julie." He hangs his head.

They then stare off into the horizon together, watching the twinkling star-like pinpoints of light on the underside of the dome. Watching as the lake's waters undulate and shimmer in the darkness of the cool evening, a gigantic dark mirror reflecting the pinpoints back to the ceiling.

Mike idly scuffs his boot on the ground again, putting out their shared cigarette. In a sad sort of way, the dying ember of the smoldering stick being stomped out into rocks and gravel was a lot like their relationship: dead and done. And of course it had to be Mike to put them both out, huh. Right.

Real poetic.

Julie turns around wordlessly, climbs into Mutt and sits in Chuck's seat.

Time to go.

After a few seconds Mike nods once, fixes his collar and slides into his own seat.

The ride back up to Deluxe is quiet.

Except this time, it had been a long while since they had the time to relax like this. These days, Kane's attacks were getting more and more savage, brutal... and cunning.

It was a couple years later when the kids were a bit older --but not that much older at the same time-- that they all filed past the doors of Antonio's and slid right into their usual booth.

Kane's latest attempt at a hostile takeover of Motorcity involved way too many sneaky double-crossing spies all trying to break the Burners up and weaken the city's best defense. Sneaky bastard, that Abraham Kane.

But they thwarted him yet again, despite it all. They beat the bad guys, restored peace back amongst the gangs and the civilians, and saved the day.

It had taken weeks this time, but they succeeded.

So now to celebrate, they're placing their orders for the greasiest, most heart-clogging fast food on the menu and sitting back to happily sip at their drinks. They're finally enjoying their time together again, and Mike is especially pleased that everyone made it out alive.

Sitting elbow-to-elbow with his bestest friends in the world, Mike takes advantage of a lull in the conversation to clap his hands together and get everyone's attention.

"Okay, guys!" He announces. "So, I'm pretty sure we're all kinda fried after... y'know, everything. Everyone's probably too tired to care about what I'm going to say next! So... confession time."

"Hmhmm! Spill, then," Chuck smirks, his chin in his cyborg hand. It was a recent upgrade to his prosthetic, and it shone a beautiful silvery-blue under the diner lights.

Mike chuckles nervously. "Uh, I... I think that... I figured out that I can't fall in love!"

Everyone stares at him.

Chuck casually slurps his milkshake through a straw.

Dutch turns to him then. "Wait. You knew?"

Chuck sits up. "Uhh hahaha, whoa. Where'd that come from? You psychic or somethin'?" He deflects awkwardly.

"You're clearly not surprised," Dutch points out.

"Pfft yeah I'm not surprised. Who's been Mike's best friend since, like, kindergarten again?"

"Ah. And ya didn't think to let me know anything back when we were dating? Sure would've saved us a lot of time," Julie quipped drily.

Chuck holds his mismatched hands up. "Now hold on a minute! I didn't know back then, obviously. Besides, you two dated years ago for like... three seconds!"

"Two years ago, smartass," Julie snips back.

Mike clears his throat conspicuously. "Guys! Guys, no need to fight over me," he jokes awkwardly, "because I, uhm, I've decided I don't belong to anybody! I'm just me, and I'm not dating anyone. Like, ever."

Everyone turns back to him again.

With four pairs of eyes on him, Mike draws in on himself a bit as he continues. "Yeah, it's. It's something that I've been kinda discovering about myself and I'm still... exploring it. But I'm pretty sure I've never had a crush in my life. I was just walking through life distracted by everything else for so long that I never noticed it, but... yeah. I've just. I've just never felt love for anyone else before, I guess."

"Which is fine," Chuck blurts out suddenly. "It's... it's fine! That Mike's never fallen in love with anyone. It happens. Some people just don't experience a common thing most people do... like romance, or sex. Yeah! Totally normal!"

Dutch smirks at Chuck. "You too, then? You a non-romantic as well?"

Chuck shakes his head so hard his bangs swing. "No! Nuh uh, I'm a lover, not a fighter. I'm definitely a romantic!"

"Why so nervous all of a sudden, then?"

"Because," Chuck replies, "because... it's fine! To not ever fall in love or like... date, or kiss or have sex or whatever. We're in Motorcity now, and we can get to do whatever we want. And if we don't wanna date, then we don't have to!" Then he clamps his mouth shut.

Mike perks up then. "That's right! And ah, yeah! Speaking of, Chuckles... lemme tell ya, I really gotta hand it to ya. If it weren't for you, I'd've never figured this one out. So, thanks, buddy! As always, you really had my back on this one."

Chuck and Mike smile at each other and Texas raises a brow.

"Huh?" Texas says. "What's that s'posed to mean?"

Chuck titters nervously as Mike pulls up a screen and opens up a forum.

"It means that Chuckles here helped me find a site that explained everything I was experiencing! Or... not experiencing, really."

Chuck clears his throat, clearly relieved. "Uh, yeah! Well, after Mike's like, 10th girlfriend that one time he couldn't stop bringing people back home, he came to me all frustrated and stuff and... well, we went off to find my friends in the LARPing arena to see if anyone had any idea why he was burning through dates like Mutt burns through tires. And so someone suggested he might be aromantic, and uh... well, the rest is history!"

Dutch and Julie hummed in acknowledgement.

Everyone knew what that was like, how weird it was that Golden Child Mike all of sudden started bringing people home from parties and bars shortly after his breakup with Julie. Sometimes he even had two people on his arms, some men, some women. Never the same person after two or three times, though.

They were all perplexed when they first heard laughing and chattering behind Mike's bedroom door. Once the moaning started, though... well! Everyone poked fun at him the mornings after and teased him to varying degrees, but things were mostly chill in the beginning.

Everyone remembered Mike's frustrations after a while, though. How he could never quite land a steady relationship-- no matter how hard he tried, with whoever. It got to the point where the Burners stopped their teasing and became quite concerned after Mike introduced his 5th girlfriend in the span of like... 6 months, once upon a time.

It was shortly after his final breakup that Mike flopped down onto his best friend's messy bed one evening and finally had The Conversation.

It went well, all things considered. Chuck, patient as ever, listened to his friend and then when he couldn't offer any solid advice, he offered a distraction. The LARPing arena proved to be much better help than they could ever hope for.

Ever since then, Mike's been up late into the night often, completely engrossed in all things aromantic. He wanted to learn more about it, yearned for a community that knew exactly what he was feeling; so he stayed awake just swiping through sites and PDFs on his holoscreens, eating every bit of information up.

Now, it looked like Mike was at peace with himself and his station in life after all this time. That was a relief!

"Aromantic! That's it! Look at this, guys." Here, Mike grins and pulls up a photo of a striped flag. "This is the community flag. Look familiar?"

The colors of the flag had two shades of green at the top that then cascaded into white, then grey and then black.

Texas leaned forward. "It looks like Mutt!" He practically shouts.

Everyone laughs.

"Yeah, that sure is a you flag if I've ever seen one," Julie quips.

"Right? Like it was meant to be! So I guess I'm part of this community, then. I mean, this really is a kickass flag..."

"But what does that mean, though? That you can never fall in love with anyone, ever?" Julie asks.

Mike closes his screens and clasps his hands on the table, exhaling a bit. "Uhh, well? Well, yeah! I can't ever fall in love... but it doesn't feel that way to me! Ugh, I'm probably gonna do such a bad job explaining this," he laughs self-consciously.

"It's okay, dude. Take your time," Dutch smiles warmly.

Mike shoots him a grateful smile back. "... It... it's like. Well? It's like... I've never felt butterflies in my stomach before, so I have no idea what that's like. But I like you guys, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I love hanging out with you all even though I don't think about any of you guys like that. I love making friends-- like true friends-- and I can't stop thinking about how happy hanging out with people makes me. I guess I'm just way more platonic than romantic, because I am just... so bad at love! God, I've never had so much trouble with anything in my life before like I have with romance," he groans, grimacing.

"And when Mike Fucking Chilton says that, that's how you know he's struggling!" Dutch puts in.

Everyone giggles.

"Wow," Julie gives Mike a side-long glance. "Finally. Something that The Great Mike Chilton is bad at! We've finally got him, boys."

Texas leaps out of his seat and enthusiastically karate-chops the air. "Hoo-WAH!!! Finally! Something I got over on ya, Mike. Texas is better at romancing than you!"

Julie rolls her eyes.

Mike guffaws. "Psshhwhat? C'mon guys, I'm bad at plenty of stuff. This isn't the first!"

"Oh yeah? Name one thing!" Dutch challenges.

"Uhhm well uh, I...? I'm pretty bad at... hm." Mike drums his fingers on the table. "I'm bad at coding! I'm not nearly as good as Chuck at the software and tech side of things!"

"But ya could be! You could totally learn how to, if you'd just sit down with me for more than 20 minutes," Chuck points out.

Mike stubbornly folds his arms across his chest. "Well, I don't wanna! What're you gonna do about it?"

And just like that, the kids all return back to normalcy, bickering and quibbling about nothing as they finally receive their food from the waitress. Soon after, Chuck and Texas are throwing pizza toppings and wadded up paper at each other and Mike is mom-ing at them to quit it before they all get kicked out.

It was as if nothing even happened.

It was simultaneously comforting and also thrilling how easily Mike was accepted back into the fold; the Burners' Heartless Leader who could never fall in love.

On the inside, Mike was deeply grateful and his heart felt full upon learning this, though. It was a nourishing feeling that his bestest friends in the whole world who worked hard, played hard, lived fast and free alongside him... they loved him and accepted him back, no matter what. It was a much nicer and fuzzier feeling than any romance-filled relationship or hookup ever gave him.

Now, the Burners are finally leaving the diner, all tipsy and giddy from their impromptu late-night happy hour session.

Mike has a casual arm slung over Chuck's shoulder as they traipse on over to Mutt. Everyone casually daps each other up and offers quick goodbyes before climbing into their respective cars.

Mike slides behind the wheel and exhales. Chuck clicks himself into his secure harness.

"Well! That went pretty well! A little too easily, honestly but," Mike breathes.

Chuck's blonde head bobs. "Well yeah, dude. Of course. What'd ya think, that'd we kick you out of the team for that?"

Mike shrugs and turns his skeleton key into Mutt's ignition, bringing her to roar awake again. "I mean... no. But, y'know. It's weird, having a leader of a gang that can't ever fall in love, right? Like some heartless freak or somethin'. I dunno," he chuckled wryly.

Chuck frowns. "Mike. You're not a freak," he says firmly.

Mike gives his best friend a sidelong glance. "Chuck..." he speaks, voice low, "it's not like that! You know what I mean... it's just that sometimes people who are different don't get treated so well all the time, yanno?"

"Yeah, sure, back up in Deluxe," Chuck argues. "But it's different down here in Motorcity. It's good here for people like us!"

Mike hums thoughtfully as he drums his fingers on the wheel. "Yeah, you're right..." then, he smirks at Chuck. "So if that's true, then why didn't you come out, back there? I actually thought you were gonna do it. It even looked like Dutch suspected something, too!"

Mike smiles at his friend, who is doing his best impression of a carseat cover now.

"Mmnyeah... yeah, I could've." Chuck gives a noncommittal shrug, hesitating.

"What's wrong?"

After a few seconds, Chuck swipes at his bangs self-consciously and clears his throat. "Uhmm well... being aromantic and never falling in love is kinda... badass, don'tcha think? But for a guy like me, never wanting to have sex and being a dope for romance is just pathetic," he laments. "If people hear that I'm asexual and that I never want to bang anyone, I'd get laughed out of the room! It's not an asexual thing, Mikey, it's a me thing."

Mike throws Mutt into reverse and backs her out of their parking spot with practiced ease.

"Chuckles. My guy. Look, who cares what other people think? If you don't wanna bone, you're just not gonna. That doesn't hurt anyone at all, so screw anyone who says anything about it. If anyone gives you a hard time, call me up and I'll spin the block for you,"

Chuck bursts into a peal of nervous giggles. "Whoa, whoa Mikey, geez! Christ, thanks, man but that's really not necessary. I appreciate you, though,"

They smile at each other again.

Then after a beat, Mike adds, "plus, if they know about aromanticism, they're gonna eventually find out about asexuality, too, dude."

Chuck laughs weakly as he clutches his arms. "O-oh...! Yeah... yeah that's tr--"

Mike suddenly slams his boot down on the gas pedal and Mutt growls as she lurches into hundred-mile-speeds from a standstill. Her tires screech loudly on the pavement and she leaves a giant plume of smoke and dirt behind as everyone careens over a drop straight onto the Deluxian Supply Pipes.

"Miiikkee-eeyyyy!!! We just ate!" Chuck screeches, horrified. He clings onto the car seat with both hands as Mike laughs.

Chuck's screams and Mike's loud, joyous shouting and whooping can be heard far and wide throughout Motorcity as they race all the way back home.

[wisterialwhymsy]

han jisung ˖°❀ my jokes are my armour

songfic! songfic!

this is the first in a series based off of songs by The Amazing Devil- a lyrical alt-folk band formed by Joey Batey and Madeleine Hyland. i've been listening to them for a while and came up with the idea of a series based off some of their songs!

Han Jisung x gn reader

Song: Drinking song for the socially anxious

wc: 3.7k

warnings: slight angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, detailed (ish) descriptions of social anxiety, mentions of peer pressure, potential hints at a panic attack, strong language and mentions of sex (not involving reader or Han), alcohol use and drinking, reader could be percieved as autistic/neurodivergent, they're literally so awkward for most of it lol, Han plays D&D for the plot, catboy joke

In the back of a cab like a puppet with no strings Untangling my headphones 'Cause sometimes they're the only thing That keeps my head in place Keeps my head in place

You find yourself mentally humming the lyrics, the words echoing in your mind as you anxiously attempt to untangle the mess of headphones. While you loved your friends, you wished they’d stop inviting you to their loud house parties and whining that you’re “no fun” when you decline. Realising you were having no luck untangling the mess of headphones, you let out an exasperated sigh, shoving the twisted mess into your lap. You looked out the window, taking in the swirl of nightlife as you passed by bustling streets already filled with drunk revellers and their regretful sober friends.

“Almost there.” The taxi driver said,  startling you out of your reverie. You hummed in acknowledgement. As you got closer to the address, your anxiety grew. Sure, your friends would be there, but it was a party, at some stranger's house. You didn’t do parties, and you most definitely didn’t do strangers. Why did I let them guilt me into this? you think bitterly. 

“We’re here.” The driver says, pulling you from your spiralling thoughts once more. You quietly thank him and pay before exiting the vehicle, shivering at the bitter cold. 

“Okay… they said it was number 3,” you whisper to yourself, scanning the buildings until you find the right house. You find yourself standing in front of a surprisingly nice house. The dark grey brick is highlighted by lighter grey exterior accents and a sleek black door. Even from the outside, you can hear the soft thump of music.

Arriving at the door, I hope to God I'm not the first My heart is tearing pages From that funny story I rehearsed And I know I won't be long 'Cause I know I don't belong

The words seem to circle in your head, amplifying the nerves gnawing at you as you stand in front of the door. You look at the watch on your wrist: “10:27”. The party was supposed to start at 10:30, but your friend told you to just “get there whenever”. Usually, you’d wait outside for a few more minutes, not wanting to be the first person there and get stuck in an awkward conversation, but it was bitterly cold, and you didn’t want to freeze to death. You mentally prepare yourself as you knock on the door, silently praying your friend will be the one who opens it. You’ve rehearsed a funny story in case you got stuck in some sort of conversation and you’ll only stay for a few hours- just long enough to get your friends off your back. The music grows considerably louder as the door opens, and there, standing before you, is your friend’s smiling face. You breathe a quiet sigh of relief—your prayers have been answered.

'Cause though my jokes are my armour And my kindness is my sword The party swirls around me in a dress I can't afford And I do my best to breathe But they're stealing all the air

“Heyy! Oh my gosh! I’m so glad you could make it!” she greets, hugging you and ushering you inside. She drags you to a random room before picking up two glasses, handing you one.

“It’s so nice to see you!” She gushes. “You will not believe the week I’ve had. So, I went on this date- and oh my god- she was insane. She kept telling me about her ex and get this- she actually showed me their Instagram! Like who even does that?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Wowww. Maybe she was secretly a wingwoman, trying to set you up with her ex.” 

She laughs, almost spilling her drink. “I wish! She was honestly so hot. Anyways, how’s it been with you? Anything new?”

“Um, not much. I got a cat. She’s pretty co-” You’re cut off by someone waving her over.

“Oh I’m so sorry I have to go. I might be getting luckyyyy.” She sings.

“Oh no problem.” You smile awkwardly as she walks away, leaving you alone in the crowded room.

You stand there silently, occasionally taking sips of your drink, hiding your disgust at the bitter taste. People and conversations swirl around you, the air is thick with the scent stifling of alcohol and sex. 

In one corner, a couple is basically glued together, their steamy makeout session bordering on indecency. You roll your eyes, turning to the other to look at the girl screaming at her boyfriend to “keep his eyes to himself”. 

You huff, turning towards another room, eyes desperately searching for someone you knew. The music was louder here, the scent of alcohol and sex was stronger somehow, almost suffocating.

Resisting the urge to gag you make your way through the house, searching for a quieter room.

And the hum from the fridge’ll Sing me soft little vigils As all my steps too far keep telling me "This is who you are", I should go home I'm not lonely, just like being on my own

You stumble into the kitchen, finding temporary solace in the quiet hum of the fridge. There’s still a few people in here, however they’re much quieter, simply engaging in quiet conversations about questions of the universe. 

Two girls mumbling next to the pantry suddenly erupt into a fit of laughter. You flinch, the sharp sound grating against your eardrums.

I should go home, you think. Or anywhere else really. You think back to earlier that evening.

And the hum from the fridge’ll Sing me soft little vigils As all my steps too far keep telling me "This is who you are", I should go home I'm not lonely, just like being on my own

You stare at the wine bottle sitting on your kitchen bench. You didn’t really drink wine, but your friend gave it to you as a gift.

“So Maggie, should I get drunk here or at the party?” You ask your cat, who’s perched upon the counter. You gently pat her soft fur as she offers a soft “mew” in response.

“On one hand, going would get my friends off my back, and I’ll be able to drink something other than wine. On the other hand… that involves people. New people. People I do not know.” You ponder aloud, continuing your gentle pats. Maggie purrs and pushes her head into your hand.

“What do you think Mags?” You ask, scratching under her chin. 

“You’re so lucky.” You coo, babying the tuxedo striped cat. “You’re such a cute little lady, you don’t have to worry about people thinking you’re weird.” Maggie offers a sharp meow before jumping onto the floor, scampering away.

“Ugh. I don’t want to go.” You whine, pressing your palms against your eyes. “How is this so easy for some people?” 

Gonna go home and show my cat some memes 'Cause he's awesome like me Like me

You hold back a groan, wishing you could just go home to your cat. You huff in frustration before leaving the kitchen, searching for some sort of quiet respite from this hell.

You walk down the hallway, pressing your ear to each door, careful to avoid stumbling in on any couples trying to open the gates of Mordor.

Fucking hell You think I just need 5 minutes of quiet.

You press your ear against the final door. Silently praying for it to be quiet. 

“Thank fuck” you whisper when you’re met with silence.

You quickly open the door, too overwhelmed to properly check the room. You slide down to the floor, holding your head in your hands, too worn out to hear the quiet “Huh?” that echoes the room.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Why, oh why did he agree to this? He thinks to himself.

“It’ll be fine! You’ll have a great time. Maybe you’ll even meet someone cute!” Felix had said. Jisung knew it wouldn’t be that easy- but it was hard to deny his best friend, especially when he gave him that signature sunshiney smile.

Regret overcame him as soon as he arrived. The loud music, the swarming crowd of people, sticky with a mix of bodily fluids, and the suffocating smell of sex, sweat and alcohol made him sick to his stomach. 

At some point someone handed him a drink, leaning down to tell him what it was but he couldn’t hear them over the deafening music so he had no idea what it was. He took a sip before cringing, forcing himself to swallow the revolting drink.

He tried his best to be involved, sitting on the couch until an overzealous couple started passionately making out, their affections bordering on obscene.

“Gross” he muttered, recoiling. He quickly stood up, leaving his barely-touched drink next to the couch before he quickly made his way towards the hall.

Making his way down the hall he spotted a room with the door slightly open. Jisung peeked inside, desperately hoping no one was inside. Upon seeing it was empty he opened the door, quickly slipping inside before closing the door behind him and sighing in relief. 

In the room was a double bed, covered in various coats- presumably where the host told people to leave their stuff.

He sighed, laying down on the bed, too exhausted to care about the pile of coats.

Jisung honestly had no idea how long he had been laying there, the muffled music almost blanketing him in a sense of calm as he pondered his existence. Suddenly, the door snapped open and shut with a sharp sound, before he heard the thud of someone sinking to the floor with a loud, exasperated sigh.

He leaned up on his elbows, his eyes searching in the dark for whoever interrupted his quiet pondering. 

“Huh?” He whispered upon noticing a figure leaned against the door. He quietly moved towards the lamp on the bedside table, turning it on.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Now I'm lying on a bed full of coats Trying desperately to cope When you open up the door, say something stupid like "You're lying on some coats" I say, I know “Just sometimes nice to feel what it's like To be in someone else's coat”

You jump as a soft light floods the room.

“What the fuck?” you mumble, trying not to scream. You look up and find yourself looking at a stranger who looks as shocked as you do. He looks to be in his early 20’s, with round eyes and soft cheeks, and short black hair that frames his shocked expression perfectly.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry. I had no idea anyone was in here!” You apologise, standing up. “It’s ok! You just scared me.” he laughs as you turn towards the door. 

“Wait.” You pause, turning back. “Were you lying on a bed of coats?”

“Um…” He stammers, blushing. “Yes?”

“Why…?” You ask.

“Um.” He mumbles, searching for an excuse. “Sometimes it's nice to feel what it’s like to be in someone else’s coat?” He looks about as confused as you feel.

“Okay then. I’ll leave you to it?” You turn towards the door again.

“Wait.” The man stands up, fidgeting with his hands. “Uh, are you ok? You sounded, um, stressed.”

“Oh! Uh. yeah. I’m fine. Just parties aren’t really my thing. Too loud and everything.” You look at the floor, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh me too! I’m only here because my friend guilted me into being here so…” He trails off.

“Same! I’d much rather be home with my cat than here.” You laugh.

Now we're bursting at the seams 'Cause the noise is crushing us We think it's so much worse than it seems But that voice unsaid is rushing us

He gasped. “Wait! You have a cat?” His eyes shine with excitement.

“Yes! Her name is Maggie, I got her recently. She’s so cute.” You laugh at his reaction.

“Oh my gosh can I see?” He asks before stopping himself. “Sorry, that was weird. You don’t have to… I just really like cats.” 

You curse yourself internally, why is this random man so cute?

You giggle at his adorable antics. “It’s ok! I love showing her off. She's so cute!” You gush as you pull your phone out of your pocket.

You scroll through your camera roll, silently begging that there were no embarrassing photos.

“I’m Jisung, by the way.” The man introduces himself, somehow still awkward despite sounding more at-ease.

You introduce yourself. “Lovely to meet you!” You smile as you finally find the perfect picture of Maggie, showing it to him.

He almost screams in delight. “OH MY GOSH! She’s so cute!”

You giggle at his reaction, quickly searching for more pictures to show him.

Soon enough, the two of you are sitting on the bed, chatting away whilst you show him more cat pictures.

“She’s adorable, oh my gosh!!” Jisung’s eyes somehow grow rounder as he looks at another photo. “Little baby Maggie!” 

You laugh once again, internally freaking out at how cute he was.

And in a moment of total rapture With every strength I have I ask if you play D&D And your face lights up like you've woken up From this endless fucking nightmare Of pretending this is you

You accidentally swipe on your phone, a picture of some pretty dice showing up. “Oh whoops.” You mutter, embarrassed.

“Do you play D&D?” He asks, sounding excited.

Your face lights up. “Yes! I’m currently doing a campaign with some friends.”

His eyes brighten and an expression of pure joy spreads across his features. “Me too! My friend Chris is DMing a campaign for me and some friends right now! I’m playing this really cool tiefling bard.”

I think I just fell in love, you think to yourself as he continues rambling. You must have been looking at him weirdly because he pauses.

“What?” He looks confused. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You blink. “Oh sorry- I’m just really excited that we both play D&D!” You smile, trying to mask your internal panic.

His face softens. “Yeah! It’s really cool. We should play together sometime.” He pauses. “I mean only if you want to, we don’t have to of cour-”

“I’d love to.” Cutting off his anxious rambling with a soft smile.

This is us, this is me and this how we're meant to be But your smile tells me I'm safe And that voice unspoken's heard 'Cause if God make us all in his image Then God's a fucking nerd

The two of you continue talking for a while. He shows you pictures of his dog, Bbama and you two discuss your favourite D&D adventures. You have no idea how long you’ve been talking for when you hear a knock at the door.

You both scramble up, off the coats in the bed. You exchange an awkward glance before you finally open the door.

“Hi, uh. My girlfriend’s coat is in here. Do you mind if I grab it?” A young-looking man asks politely, standing at the threshold.

“Oh yeah of course!” You chuckle, before awkwardly going to stand beside Jisung.

The man enters, giving you and Jisung a weird side-eye as he digs through the coats.

“Found it! Thanks!” He says hurriedly before scuttling out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You barely glance at Jisung before the two of you fall to the floor in a fit of giggles.

“Oh, looked so scared, oh my god!” He gasps out between giggles, making you laugh even harder.

After a few minutes, when you've both caught your breath, you sit on the floor, backs against the wall. You glance down at your watch.

“Holy shit it’s 2am!” You gasp, shocked at how the time has gone by.

Jisungs eyes widened in shock. “What? There’s no way…” He opens his phone, noticing that the clock does in fact, read 2:12am. “What the fuck?”

You laugh at his shock.

“I should go home soon, Maggie will be worried.” You sigh, trying to hide your disappointment.

He gasped. “We can’t have that!” He pauses. “I should get home too, my cat’s probably also worried.”

“You have a cat?” You asked confused.

His eyes widened. “Oh no um. My roommate… is very cat-like? So my friends and I jokingly call him a cat.”

“Your roommate’s a catboy?” You ask, bursting into laughter at the look of horror on his face.

“I- He isn’t I swear. He just acts like a cat and has 3- oh my god,” He rambles, his face growing red as he tries to explain himself, before he himself bursts into laughter.

And I'll sing silence And ask my glass of wine for guidance I might not make it tonight And I'll speak with my eyes You think I'm neat, I'm not surprised That I might not make it tonight

“Well, as funny as that whole thing sounds, I should really head home.” You sigh.

You look at him, thinking about how this night started. About how you almost didn’t come to this party.

He hums, looking almost sad.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, worried.

“Oh, um.” He looks into your eyes, almost as if calculating something. “As much as I don’t want Maggie to worry, I really enjoy talking to you. I know we’ve only just met but it feels like I’ve known you forever.” He looks to the ground, almost embarrassed.

Your eyes soften and you reach out, placing a gentle hand on his cheek and tilting his head to look at you. “I feel the same.” His eyes light up. 

“I really enjoy talking to you. I know that I’ve only known you for like, 4 hours but-” You pause, looking into his adorable round eyes. “Has anyone told you your eyes look like boba?”

A look of pure confusion crosses his face. “What?”

You move your hand from his face to cover your mouth. “Oh I did not mean to say that out loud.”

He laughs. “Boba?”

You look to the ground then back at him. “Not- not exactly like boba, but your eyes are so round and adorable…” You trail off, flustered.

“Like boba?” He asks, grinning.

You laugh, trying to hide your embarrassment. “Uh- yeah. I don’t know why I said that I’m sorry.”

He laughs again, and even though you’ve heard it all night, you swear you’ll never get tired of it. “It’s okay, I get it.”

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, it’s soft and easy, and makes you unsure about how you ever managed to feel nervous around him.

Because I don't find this easy like you Gonna go home and dress my cat up like Batman 'Cause he's awesome like me

You glance at the door then at your watch: 2:28 am. “Okay I really need to go, Maggie will be waiting for me.”

“Yeah okay, we shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Jisung hesitates as you both stand.

“But uh” he rubs his neck, looking shy. “Can I walk you home or something?”

You smile, “As much as I would love that, I live like a 40 minute walk away.” 

“Ohh…” He looks to the ground, looking disappointed before looking back up at you with a bashful grin. “Could I… take a cab with you? Gotta make sure you’re safe and everything.” “What about your cat-boy roommate?” You ask, trying to restrain your giggles.

“I- he’s not-” He stumbles. “I can text him.” He says with a sigh of defeat.

You giggle and smile warmly at the flustered boy. “Then I would love that.”

And I'll sing silence (and I don't) And ask my glass of wine for guidance (find this) I might not make it tonight (easy, like you) Gonna go home and tell my cat (I'm not lonely) I'm not lonely if I'm (I just like being on my own) With you

The two of you exit the party together, weaving through the slowly dwindling crowd until you’re finally outside, basking in the refreshingly cold air.

You continue to chat as you lean against the wall, waiting for the cab. You learn that you have even more in common than you thought you did. 

“Where is this cab?” You exclaim as he chuckles. “It’s freezing out here.” 

Jisung wordlessly takes his jacket off, draping it over your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. “Better?” He softly asks. 

You manage to get out a soft hum of approval in between your furious blushing and internal freaking out. At least you thought it was internal- until you noticed Jisung giving you a soft, knowing smile.

Almost as if by divine intervention, a bright yellow taxi rolls to a stop in front of you.

The two of you get into the back of the cab. You slide into the middle seat, surprising Jisung. He hesitates for a second before settling in next to you. You lean forward to tell the taxi driver your address, before leaning back, instinctively leaning into his warmth. 

He tenses for a moment before quickly relaxing, subtly shifting towards you. “Comfortable?” He asks quietly. 

“Mhm.” You nod. “You’re really warm.” You hear him chuckle.

You sit in silence for a while, watching as the streets go past in a blur.

In the back of a cab, like two puppets with no strings We share a pair of headphones 'Cause sometimes they're the only thing That keep our heads in place Keep our heads in place

“Do you wanna listen to music?” Jisung asks, turning his head towards you slightly.

“Oh sure!” You hum watching as he reaches into his pocket. His arm gently brushes yours, making you blush.

He takes out his phone, a pair of wired earbuds already plugged in.

He offers you an earbud, a small, nervous smile on his face as he opens his phone. “So what do you want to listen to?”

As the cab continues on, you feel relieved, his shoulder warm against yours, a quiet reassurance, maybe the party wasn’t so bad afterall.

This is a work of fiction, based entirely on my personal perception of him, and does not reflect his actual character or actions.

Maggie is my friends cat not mine, she's very cute :)

[anomaly-076]

Going on a date w/ Tkdb teachers

♦ I don't think I've seen anything related to the professors during my time lurking around in the tags, which is kinda a shame, so here's some love for our wacky adults :D ♦

  ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

The Chancellor

(Ik he looks like a kid, but he literally has a son if I remember correctly)

Even with how busy Cornelius usually is, if he likes you he'll find a way to squeeze you into his agenda

It's either a lunch date during his hour or so that he has for a lunch break

Or a dinner date after which he'll have more freedom to also do something else with you

Like stargazing

Idk why but Cornelius strikes me as the one to love stargazing

Sadly, you can't be up for too long though, since he has to wake up early to work again

But the next day, one of the mail cats drops by with a rose and a note thanking you for a nice evening and invitation to meet with him for lunch

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Professor Dante

Not really a date, but more of a parallel reading session in Dante's private library

He's already there when you knock on the door, beckoning you to enter the room so eh doesn't have to open the door for you

If you want, you two can snuggle up on a sofa that's in the library and he'll read some classical literature book to you

Once your relationship progresses further, Dante wouldn't be against laying his head on your lap while you read to him

He might fall asleep each time, but how can you blame him?

Your voice is so soothing and your lap is so comfortable

Only when the two of you are alone, he's able to fully relax

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Professor Hyde

Clueless idiot alert!

Huh? Him asking you out on a date? That's ridiculous! Unless....?

If he somehow manages to ask you out in person and not via a note hidden in one of your books, his whole face is red to the very tips of his white hair

Takes you out for crepes or something

It has to be something simple

Something that doesn't scream 'date'

You're just two colleagues trying out the new ice cream stand since few of your students talked about it, haha... right?

Prepare to be the first one to initiate everything in the relationship and even then, Hyde is flustered mess

But don't you dare mentioning any of that to his other colleagues or even Sho!

Hyde definitely doesn't get all red just from holding hands or when you peck him on the cheek!

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Professor Moby

The sole reason for how I came up with this idea

I can just imagine Moby trying so hard to make up with his behavior for the fact that the place he took you is a very cheap 2* diner that may or may not have a bit of a mice problem

Worry not! All six of his remaining tentacles will make sure no little critter will get into your food!

He feels very guilty to drag you to such place, but it's the best he can afford

And no, he will not let you pay for yourself so you can eat somewhere better

What gentleman would make you pay on a date he invited you to?

After that mice fiasco, he'll try to find different places you two can enjoy yourselves

Like a walk in the park! That doesn't cost anything and is nice to get to know your date

Maybe, once he manages to find a way to feed The Chancellors cats without getting attacked, he'll be able to buy you a snack or something!

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Professor Nicolas

Talk about busy

Nicolas barely has a time for himself while managing the hospital

If it weren't for Yuri and Jiro, he wouldn't even be able to get any sleep

So instead of dates, you usually just bring him lunch and eat it together in his office

Sometimes, if you don't happen to have a lesson to teach, you're helping him out

By some point, you've learned so much, that you're able to get qualified as a nurse

You don't have to, but it would help Mortkranken a lot to have another person on their team

Plus you could spend more time with him that way

But he insists, that you really don't have to and if you want to spend more time with him, he'll try to find a different way

[adviceformefromme]

Listen I feel so ugly all the time I'm trying to get myself better but it seems like every time I do something comes up and knocks me down to the point where I just quit and it pisses me off. Recently I started to use my journal more to write down stuff to better myself I write down quotes of the month, and listen to podcasts at work sometimes. But after work, I'm so tired I work from 8AM-4PM I don't have the energy to do anything especially working out and that's my biggest issue and it hurts me to the core that I'm this way. Do you have any tips to help me? Please cause I need it bad.

Hey sweetie, okay some ideas...

What is it you don't love about yourself ? What is that makes you feel ugly? Are these things you can accept or want to change? If you can't accept things you don't like about yourself, then honestly I would start thinking about making some changes. What is within your power to change? What would make you feel beautiful? Is it your teeth? Start saving for the Invisalign or teeth whitening strips, is it your thin hair, look into new hairstyles, weaves, extensions.. If it's your face shape that you really can't make peace with maybe its worth getting some fillers. And while I don't want to promote these things, in my personal experience I have felt happier when I've invested in my image. I had 11's between my eyebrows and after so long of trying to accept these lines in my head I got botox and I was the happiest. So go invest in you, if you can't afford it do what you can, save up & research online. Invest in your image. I've seen friends feel so unaccepting of how they look for years, putting themselves down because of early wrinkles, bad teeth - when all it would take is some investments. So choose you. This is your one life, do you want to spend it feeling ugly and second class every time you look in the mirror? Or do you want to invest in looking and feeling your best?

On the low energy - I would assess your diet. What are you eating, drinking? This will be a huge factor. Carbs - the devil in my opinion. I spent a vast majority of my life in carb crashing and hunger and needing more sugar / food DESPITE thinking I was eating and drinking healthily. Now I am studying nutrition, I am learning how detrimental my diet was to my overall health. So I would advise, protein and greens diet. Cut sugar, in the form of carbs/ starchy vegetables, replace chocolates / crisps with nuts and fruits. Drink more water, invest in some celtic salts, supplements (vitamin D + k2, vitamin c, DIM, selenium, magnesium - ensure there on no nasties inside bulking agents), grass fed meats, organic veggies, salads, bone broths weekly.

I would also make sure you are doing exercise. It needs to be sweat inducing. A run down the road and back to start with if you're unfit. You don't need a fancy gym. Take a cold shower when you get home (you can start with a hot temp and then do 30-60 seconds cold to build yourself up). Do some stretches, make an effort, as simple as while the kettle boils, make this an opportunity to touch your toes or rotate your hips.

These are some starting points. I would begin the latter first, get your energy and body right initially and then start putting money and investments into your image. Health is wealth, so while you may or may not feel beautiful, without investing in great health you will ultimately struggle.

I hope this helps. DM is open if you have more questions/ need more support xoxo

[clorvismaximus]

A Childhood of Clownery

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing an older lady who had clowns in her childhood. As we all know, keeping clowns as personal pets is a rather new phenomenon. Previously, only traveling circuses could afford to keep clowns permanently, and most of the older generation could only afford to rent a clown for special occasions, like birthday parties. This is what made this interview that much more interesting!

Without further ado, here is the interview:

Clorvismaximus: I'm delighted to announce that we're here today with Dorrie, a storyteller from the heart of Dixie, ready to share tales of growing up with a special friend—a clown named Doodles. Now, Dorrie, tell us, what was it like having a clown as a childhood companion?

Dorrie: Oh, it was a hoot and a half, I tell ya. Doodles the clown was a Southern gentleman of the Homo Ridiculus variety—his rainbow hair and outfit brighter than a Georgia sunrise.

C: Sounds like he was a real character. Can you walk us through some of your favorite memories with Doodles?

D: Well, sugar, every day was a page out of a country song. Doodles had this way of turnin' the everyday into somethin' magical. Imagine balloons bein' gateways to pretend worlds and confetti showers just 'cause it's Tuesday. His bag of tricks was like a treasure chest, holdin' surprises that kept my heart twirlin'.

C: Doodles certainly knew how to bring the joy. How did your relationship with him evolve over time?

D: Doodles wasn't just a pet; he was kin. We'd sit on the porch, talkin' 'bout triumphs, heartaches, and dreams as the fireflies danced. As the years rolled by, he stayed the same—a source of joy in a world that was gettin' busier by the minute. Our home became a haven where human and clown mixed like cornbread and collard greens.

C: Sounds like a special bond. Any down-home wisdom Doodles shared with you?

D: Absolutely. Doodles had this knack for droppin' nuggets of wisdom. Lessons 'bout findin' joy in the little things and the power of a simple smile. He wasn't just a pet; he was like a Southern granny sharin' the secrets of a good, happy life.

C: It's clear Doodles left a mark on your heart. How did his final journey impact you?

D: Oh, darlin', when Doodles set off on his final journey, the streets of Whimsyville got a mite quieter, and the sky lost a bit of its charm. But as I think back on them good ol' days, my heart's filled with gratitude for the memories we cooked up together.

C: Well, thank you, Dorrie, for sharing this heartfelt tale of Doodles and your childhood. It's been a delight to hear your story.

D: My pleasure, sweatheart. Sometimes, the best stories are the ones we live, and Doodles was the star of my favorite chapter.

I hope you all have found this just as fascinating as I have. Clown care has evolved considerably since Dorrie's childhood years, yet I can see the beginnings of what we have today in Dorrie's memories. I teared up hearing about Doodles departing on his final journey. All clowns must migrate, as we all know, but us clown owners can't help but feel heart broken when it's our clown's turn to start their final journey.

[nbwriteschaos]

re: writing commissions.

---- my writing commissions are OPEN! all info can be found within this post or in this google doc. please dm for any inquiry or request!!

!!!fiction, nonfiction, original works, smut, etc!!!

1 thousand words ♡ $10 USD

2 thousand words ♡ $12 USD

3 thousand words ♡ $15 USD

4 thousand words ♡ $20 USD

5 thousand to 10 thousand words ♡ starts at $25 USD

---- all payments are processed through paypal only. payments must be submitted first before i begin the commission. refunds are not available but i will rewrite a commission if you are not satisfied :)

more below ...

(this may format a little funny as i'm copying and pasting some info from my doc, sorry!!)

-- as for pricing

((I do not accept negotiations as far as pricing! I’ve priced my commissions based on what I think my time and effort is worth while also maintaining affordability. There are to be NO REFUNDS.  If you are unsatisfied with the result of your commission I am open to rewriting it once more to ensure your satisfaction. All payments are accepted through Paypal. I am working on opening some sort of website to provide the best experience for commissions as well, but for now, Paypal and Tumblr are the best I’ve got. 

Please let it be noted that although I am an experienced writer, I do not have the qualifications of a professional published author. I am simply a person at their laptop trying to build a future career as a writer :)

You will not be charged if I go over your paid word count!!

Custom word counts between 5k and 10k will be charged based on how I see fit. **It will not go over $60 USD** ))

-- as for boundaries

i will write mostly anything. even if it seems a little questionable, i'll probably do it. for example:

a super sad angsty character death probably nobody but yourself would want to read, that one coffee shop/tattoo artist au you've been wanting to read but can't find on ao3, or like, idk, a fantasy involving d*bcon, f*rry, p*ssplay, whump/whumpee, mpr*g, terat*philia (monster fucking), obscure s*xual organs, g*re (ask me about this one if you are looking for smut involving g*re), v*yeurism, size differences, or other common k*nks.

i do request some sort of age verification if you are commissioning for smut.

strict NOs:

No extreme depictions of SH or s*icide. No animal a*use, death or g*re. Nothing depicting extreme homophobia or transphobia. No politics or opinion-based pieces of writing. No depictions of child or adult a*use of any kind. No extreme drug use. No underage, fe*derism, sc*t/f*rts/underarms/feet/sneezing, be*stiality, n*ncon, age pl*y/massive age difference, inc*st.

i have a right to deny any commission for any reason!

-- as for fandoms

I can and will attempt to write for any fandom I am not familiar with so long as there is enough info that has been provided for it!! However, I can’t guarantee it will be perfect. Here are fandoms I am familiar with and will write for: 

Anime/Cartoons: Genshin Impact, My Hero Academia, Tokyo Ghoul, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Chainsaw Man, Spy x Family, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Melody, Free!!!, Haikyuu!!!, One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100, Demon Slayer, Hunter x Hunter, JJBA, Black Butler, Bungou Stray Dogs, Yuri on Ice, Kakegurui, Attack on Titan, Noragami, Adventure Time, Steven Universe. Probably more, just ask! 

Books: The Raven Cycle, The Dreamer Trilogy, Simon Snow Trilogy, The Foxhole Court series. Monstrous Series. Anything more obscure check out my Goodreads profile!! 

I am 100% down to write your original characters and plots!! In fact, I encourage it! For maximum accuracy, please provide as much information as you can for each character, plot, setting, etc! 

if you have any other questions feel free to send a DM or an ask and i'll get back to you as soon as possible! you can also check out the doc to see if it is answered there!

if you read this far, please feel free to reblog just to spread the love. i'd really appreciate it! thank you!!!

[darlingdawnauryn]

How I Use Technology in My Practice

I know we've all been watching the online world disintegrate in real time -- and the rise of spiritual psychosis on Tik Tok is something I definitely don't want to think too much about -- but I'm here to tell you that it's not all doom and gloom and modern-day technology can still be utilized in a beneficial way. Here are some ways I use it to aid in my practice.

Music for Meditation and Ambience. There are a lot of premade playlists to help people meditate, consisting of binaural beats, eastern inspired zen music, and instrumentals and chants to help connect to a specific deity -- and that's probably only scratching the surface. But what I like about the modern-day landscape where anyone can post anything is the specificity: we're not limited to what could previously only be found on a CD your mom might've gotten from the back of a magazine; instead, there are playlists like "you're taking a bath in ancient greece," "2 AM," and one of my personal favorites, "T h e D r e a m p o o l s." There are people who post their own compositions too, like in the case of help me.'s channel! Most of the time I don't even use it for meditation; I put it on in the background when I write spells and hypersigils, when I work my herbal magick, when I feel like working energy by dancing, etc.

Liminal Portals. Speaking of the poolrooms, I use liminal spaces a lot in my work. Due to my mobility issues and my inability to drive, I can't exactly visit a cemetery, a crossroads, or even an abandoned house whenever I want. So I do the next best thing: pull up a picture of a liminal space and meditate on it however I see fit. Similar to the wider variety of music, this affords me the opportunity to pick a specific, sometimes niche location to harness a specific energy -- it's not like you can go to a funzone midday and expect it to be vacant, let alone expect to work magick with all the kiddos running around. I also like using the images as portals: something to focus on before I sleep so I can conjure it in dreams and do work in the astral.

Inspiration and Motivation! Like a lot of people who came of age alongside the Internet, I now spend more time on Youtube than I do watching TV or even using other streaming services. I use it for shits and giggles as much as the next guy, but I also try to be conscious and intentional with my screentime. I find more and more that I use Youtube for a place of inspiration: magickal as well as mundane. As I've said in previous posts, journaling and writing are serious hobbies of mine. I watch a lot of junk/journal Youtubers, so this video popped up in my recommended the other week -- decidedly un-witchy and completely separate from anything magickal. But I ended up using it to make a journal for my hypersigils, and it feels so much more personal that way. As far as witches go, I'm way more intrigued by Q&As and those in the community interviewing each other; I find the candid conversations more practical than short little how-to videos. Plus, they're a great go-to when I feel disconnected from my practice. Listening to a back-and-forth between two people who are clearly passionate about their Craft gives me the kick to get back into mine again!

Mapping Out the World. This one is a bit headier than the others, so bear with me. First and maybe most importantly: I've been a supporter of the New Age movement since before I knew what it was -- I've always been in contact with spirit guides, fairies, and other nature spirits, and I've always had an affinity for crystals and Hippie Culture (TM) and seen firsthand how the Law of Attraction can be both beneficial and detrimental to one's overall health. While I don't interact much with that side of the Internet anymore, owing to the alarming turn to far-right mindsets and some other problematic beliefs in that community -- as well as my pseudo-disillusionment with the movement at large -- I still think there's something to be said about some of those principles -- particularly the LoA. In a sense, the algorithm as we know it is a mini version of our lives. Do I think every word, thought, and emotion should be policed in an attempt to achieve the myth of ~high vibration~ and enlightenment? Of course not. But let's look at an example that's completely free from any kind of spiritualism: if I ask you to look around the room you're in right now and count as many red objects as you can in ten seconds, that should be a relatively easy task, right? But if I ask you to then conjure up the number of yellow objects without taking another look around, you won't be able to. Why? Because you were focused on the red ones. And in my experience, the world works much the same way and technology exists to reinforce this belief: what we watch, read, and give our attention to online will multiply; it's up to us to curate our experience.

The second thing I'd like to touch on is something that's completely personal -- what I've taken to calling Small Living. Maybe this was brought on by collective nostalgia for the aughts, but lately I've been preoccupied by early-days Internet (web 1.5?) and how much more contained everything felt back then. People can make their filtered edits and try to recapture the vibe by creating bygone-feeling analog horror, but it truly was an experience, going on Youtube and watching "ghost caught on camera" videos or logging onto Quizilla to read anything from local urban legends to proto-creepypasta. It goes without saying that a lot of this stuff was bullshit, but there was something exciting and transgressive about semi-hidden forums dedicated to paranormal and occult information -- back when nothing was monetized yet and people were earnestly either trying to spread knowledge or scare the shit out of unsuspecting viewers and readers.

In a way, getting into the Craft has brought me back to that smallness. Despite the paranormal boom that happened twenty-odd years ago, it was still rare to find people who actually took it seriously: ghost hunters, fellow witches, and the like. Now that "alternative spirituality" has gone mainstream, books about opening your third eye and connecting with nature spirits and high frequency diets are a dime a dozen, meaning it's the same handful of points regurgitated by people who are most likely just looking to make a quick buck. (And don't get me started on the bastardization/commercialization of metaphysical shops.) Thinking about this objectively was one of the biggest things that led me to starting this blog: compared to Insta, Tik Tok, Reddit, and even the cesspools that are Facebook and Twitter, Tumblr is almost a dying breed. I like to think I'm not too far off in feeling like those who stumble across my page looking for first-hand experience and/or potential pointers had to do some digging in order to find it. I'm also getting a kick out of older, secondhand copies of occult books for the same reasons. (Related sidenote: turning my attention to helping my immediate community instead of giving myself IBS flare-ups stressing about every worldwide issue has helped my mental health astronomically. Another pro of Small Living.)

[intheholler]

This is in response to your West Virginia anon.

I'm also looking to move to the region and ironically western NC is the area I dream about. I live (unhappily) in a large northern city now but came of age down south - further south, actually, but the Blue Ridge is my happy place. I never wanted to leave the south at all but found myself in a place where I ran out of opportunities and had to leave to survive. Now I feel like my mental health demands I go back that direction.

I'm pretty poor so I don't think I'm much of a threat as a gentrifier but I AM worried about being able to make a go of it. Is it still a place where a disabled, newly sober person with a high school education (I can drive a car, for whatever that's worth, though!) can move in and be ok in terms of finding an affordable place to live and a way to make a living? Is there anywhere in particular you would suggest I go?

ayyy best carolina <333

valid concerns, honestly.

to be frank i do worry about the affordability of it all for you, and anyone else really. WNC is seriously getting fucked by snowbirds and by corps coming in and shearing off ridges to build housing plants and vacation homes.

plus, the last few years, with this weird trend of SpoOkY ApPaLaChIa, there's air bnbs everywhere taking up potential homes. young rich kids keep flocking here, taking up more precious space and giving very little back. (probably bc the only place they reliably could name in appalachia until recently was asheville, but i digress.)

and because everyone's been flocking in for the last decade/two decades, prices are sky high, even in small towns.

that's before you consider the scarcity of job availability, which may also pose an obstacle for you. jobs have always been scarce here, independent of the housing issues. growing up it was all just minimum wage retail, hospitality, gas stations, stuff like that unless you live somewhere bigger, or worked at a hospital/care home.

and there's only so much of that per tiny town with lots of residents. you (plural, general, not you specifically obviously) cant find a job in town A where you live, but you found one in town B an hour and a half away. your low paycheck is gone in the gas it takes to get there n back.

meanwhile, person in town B can't find a job in their hometown cause you done took it out of necessity. so they go to town C and find one. person in town C gotta go to town D now. so on and so on.

it's just... there's just not a lot.

pair that with the recent influx of gentrifiers, and people born here are struggling as is.

god this reply hurt my heart to write. please just let appalachia rest (not you, anon. them.)

as an aside, that is so cool about your sobriety by the way. congratulations, seriously. i know im just some asshole on the internet but im proud as fuck of you and i hope you can find a healthy, happy place to live in our beautiful hills. i'm partial to areas like clyde, sylva and cullowhee personally <3

[deadeyedaisy]

Tales of Destiny ~PROUST~ Forgotten Chronicle rough summary

I wasn't sure where else to post this, and Tumblr seemed like the one that would get the most use out of it.

So, I streamed my blind run through TODDC with Kio for the past several months. I ended up getting really into TOD from how much cleaner the presentation of the story and characters were over the PSX version, and was really frustrated that nobody had translated the drama CD, which had been hiding like 95% of Leon's characterization until the remake came along.

I kept a notepad of stuff to talk about during those streams. Sometimes it was off-topic things, sometimes it was little tangents about parts of the game that I thought of over the week until we'd play again. Sometimes it was summaries of supplemental material that was never localized. But most of the time, that material was translated by a fan.

Nobody has fully translated Proust. I wanted it to be translated. So I listened to it as hard as I could and summarized as best I could. The following are the unedited notes as I wrote them to be read during stream, rather than a direct translation or anything formal. I'm not good enough at Japanese to fully translate it. I'm so not good at Japanese that there's probably a lot of errors throughout this summary, too. I hope someone eventually comes along and gives us a full translation.

Also note that I'm not great at recognizing the voices of anyone that isn't the main cast of protagonists, so I probably mix up the antagonists or the generals' identities a lot.

--------------------------

So I went back through the drama cd, and I think I've got a few more little details. I could be wrong about a lot of this since there's no translation and I am really fucking bad at Japanese. But this should actually clear up a lot of misconceptions that we, or I had throughout this entire game. Foolish me for just believing everything TVTropes told me instead of trying to comb the drama cd myself.

(track 1-01 Thunder + track 1-03 Lullaby) Chris tried to escape with both children, but Hugo sent the goon squad after her?? and they managed to take Leon and mortally wound Chris. She drags herself back to the mansion to see Leon again and asks him not to hate Hugo, because this certainly isn't the same kind person she married. [I previously summarized it based on this post, which does a much better job of summarizing track 1-03: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136918641610/so-after-the-horrible-sad-feels-from-the-emilio]

(track 1-02 History That Was Forgotten is just Leon saying the title of the CD)

(track 1-04 Yes, My Lady) Less than 2 years before the game starts. The girls in Leon's class aren't very good at dance lessons yet, so he complains to Marian that all the girls are stupid-- oh but not you Marian, it's only other girls that are dumb. lol I can't catch why Leon's mad at Hugo this time, but Marian sticks up for Hugo, since he's the one who pretty much discovered how useful Lens could be to further technology and make modern life easier, and has for the most part made it all affordable. She's also grateful that he hired her when she had nothing. Marian wants Leon to make friends with the girls because she's worried he'll be all alone. Leon says he's fine alone and that he'll only grow stronger, and to distract Marian, decides to teach her the dance he learned, calling her "my lady". At the end, he says he'll be fine as long as he has Marian. Hugo walks in on them and Leon quickly makes an excuse but Hugo just puts him down for hanging with the staff and tells him to get to sword practice. Leon seems excited for it. Leon whispers to Marian that they'll practice dancing again. Marian says she's looking forward to it, but when he leaves, she sadly mumbles that he's a pitiful child. (Not in a mean way)

(track 1-05 True) [Oops I didn't cover this one. It's just villainy anyway. Who listens to Proust to hear Mictlan-Hugo monologue?]

(track 1-06 Man of the Mask) I forgot about this detail and its MASSIVE importance. In the original, Leon and Hugo's relation wasn't known for a long time. In the remake, their relation is paraded around loudly. Hugo will not let anyone forget that Leon is his son, and Leon's motivation is to not be a nepo baby. But in the original, specifically in the drama CD, Hugo doesn't want their relation known. He doesn't want Leon around while he's doing business because it might reveal their relation. He reprimands him for coming home while he's doing business and tells him not to come home so often. Leon was actually excited to let him know of one of his missions' successes, on his 15th birthday no less. Chaltier tries to comfort Leon when he's basically told to gtfo, but Leon tells him he's not sad at all, and that he just wants to be acknowledged by someone as skilled as Hugo. His cadence is fairly fond as he says all this, but he's awfully insistent about it. Like thou-doth-protest-too-much insistent. Leon thinks he saw a masked man, but Chaltier says he doesn't sense anyone. They go on their way, but a filtered voice of Hugo calls Leon's name.

(track 1-07 Emilio) The following track makes it more clear that yes, he was actually very fucking upset about it. I already talked about this track since it was one of the only 2 tracks that were fully translated by someone else. Where Marian has a little private birthday party for him and he breaks down. With the added context of the previous track, the breakdown makes a bit more sense. He's just been told and brushed off again by Hugo even after so many smashing successes. Took it upon himself to put up a strong front in front of Chaltier. Then Marian does this gesture of kindness that I guess makes him feel like he's being treated like a child or mocked, and that's the last straw. Marian is of course calling him Emilio, and he refuses that name because Emilio is worthless, nobody needs Emilio, and he's all alone. He insists he's Leon Magnus, because he's at least useful as a tool for Hugo. Marian doesn't like him calling himself a tool. Says he's her precious Emilio. And Leon cries. [Previously summarized based on this post, which actually has a full translation!: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136880537875/jeredu-spoilers-for-tales-of-destiny-for]

(track 1-08 Family) Next track takes place a year later and has Leon being the wunderkind beating everybody and being taken under Finley's wing. They've all got praise for him but are a little put off by him being so uptight. Late at night, Leon sneaks into Marian's room through her window because of the lecture he got about COMING HOME TOO OFTEN jfc. He's excited to tell Marian about officially working with the knights, and asks to dance with her. I think I skipped a bit. Leon only started trying to become a knight because Hugo told him to, so that he'd have a pawn within the castle to help further Oberon's goals. I think he moved out of the mansion after the last track to dedicate himself more fully to cementing his position there?? I'm probably wrong. But he's been a lot happier this way. Later that night, Chaltier tries to suggest that Leon just continues living like this and become a full fledged and honest knight instead of working for Hugo, because all of the generals seem to like him and are nice people. Buuuut Leon's already fallen asleep. Boo

(track 1-09 Nightmare) Next track has Leon and Finley talking and they think Greybaum's sus. They meet with Greybaum and Chal also thinks he's sus. That night, Leon has a nightmare where a man is telling him he can save Rutee. Except Leon doesn't know who Rutee is yet, or her name. The man is wearing a mask like the one from the mansion. It seems to be the real Hugo. He attacks Leon when he knocks his mask off I think?? and I guess Leon wakes up and is back at the mansion temporarily? I have no idea what's going on here but Hugo's not doing great and Leon rushes to his aid but Hugo basically tells him to gtfo his house again. I think real Hugo is fighting Mictlan, because Leon says something about Berserius. Belserius. Berselius. Fuck it. Scene change and Leon's at a tavern or something. The waitress fawns a bit, showing his good reputation has spread. Leon thinks about the nightmare and what the heck a Rutee is. Then he overhears some guy talking about a demonic lens hunter dude and the waitress is like oh nah you mean that girl Rutee? and Leon all but trips over himself to go aggressively interrogate the waitress. The guy she was talking to gets mad and tries to attack Leon and a fight starts. Finley shows up and slaps Leon and reprimands him and I think threatens him?? But Leon got the information he wanted out of the waitress.

(track 2-01 Masquerade) Next track. The villains talk stealing the Eye of Atamoni. A masquerade ball is held in Seinegald. Leon's all ready to be big bad security but Finley says he should blend in and dance. But he ain't got no fancy clothes! So Finley arranges to get him some fancy clothes. He's about to arrange for a partner too but Leon's like nah I got a girl for this and yoinks Marian up. She's worried she's not allowed to attend such a party, but Leon assures her she's part of the mission so it's fine. She tries to make excuses to not go but he shoots them all down. He sounds like he's having just oodles of fun on the carriage ride with her to the ball. He's laughing and smiling and it's just great. This moment is probably literally the happiest Leon will ever be in his entire life lol He… sneaks her in through the BACK DOOR and gets stopped by guards who ask who dis. And he says, "my partner" and they say they can't let randos in and he says NO SHE'S MY PARTNER and they say :/ that's not good enough bro, come on, and Marian takes his arm all suggestive like and says "What part of partner don't you understand ;)" and they let them in??? okay But Marian hasn't received her dress yet, so Leon's waiting for her to get dressed. And Chal teases him a bunch implying Leon's nervous to see her in her fancy dress. Leon tells him to shut up but Chal notes he's blushing really hard. But, Leon suddenly sees the masked man again, and this time Chal sees him too. Leon attacks but he disappears. He hears the voice and he's big mad 'cause he thinks he's being jerked around so he shouts a lot. Marian hears him shouting and rushes to him and real-Hugo goes whoops sorry about that I guess lmao and goes away. The ball gets into full swing and allll the girls are wowed by how pretty Leon's partner is. Marian says she feels awkward and Leon tells her she's beautiful, but she still doesn't think she should have come. He asks her to dance, she tries to make excuses not to, but he keeps asking, calling her "Lady" again like when they danced alone ;A; aaaa So they dance, and Leon is just so entranced and whispers that he wants to go far far away together to a place with only them, that's quiet and warm. He says something like he lost such a promised place inside of him a long time ago, but feels that it's also right there with her, and he's about to say something that MIGHT have been a confession, but they're interrupted by an attack and are separated. SO YEAH I'D SAY HIS FEELINGS FOR HER ARE PRETTY ROMANTIC. HOLY SHIT. I felt like I was listening to one of those listener-POV CDs where they do nothing but sweet-talk you, gosh. Whether his feelings are actually romantic or not, he's still just entirely fucking smitten with her. oh my god.

(track 2-02 Venomous Snake) Next track, I have no idea what's going on because I'm not familiar enough with all the villains' voices, but it's villain stuff. I think it's Greybaum mostly, and they're messing with King Isaac, the Phandaria King. And Greybaum is evil monologuing but Leon was hiding in the room and ambushes him. Hugo shows up before Leon can do any damage and something happens or is talked about, idk, villains get away. Leon's like what the fuck, dad, they tried to kill the king. Hugo says Isaac's spent too long in office and ain't doin his job right no more. So it's fiiine just let it go, besides, Graybaum's gonna be a useful tool. And the word "tool" sets Leon off 'cause it's always about tools with Hugo, and Hugo goes YEAH, A TOOL, A TOOL JUST LIKE YOU. I'VE BUILT HIM UP AND I'M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM, JUST LIKE I DID TO YOUUUU. And he demands Leon apologize but Leon says no, he's done being Hugo's puppet, he's going to live for himself, he's not going to accept this shitty fate anymore, he's going to carve his own path and make a place for himself in Seinegald. And Hugo goes "Ohoho what silly thoughts Finley's put in your head. Sure, you could do all that, you could escape me no problem, you're good enough for it, but I wonder how Marian is doing~ Sure hope she's okay after getting separated from you. It's just such a scary world out there, you never know when or where such a fragile little thing like her could get got." So basically the ongoing threat on Marian's life has begun. It's not explicitly stated, but obviously the implication is that Leon could leave and take Marian with him, but Hugo will get to her one way or another. Then it's just 20 full seconds of Leon desperately calling and looking for Marian.

(track 2-03 Requiem) Next track, he finds Marian and clings to her and sobs in relief that she's okay. She says yeah it's okay I'm fine, but Leon just cries harder. Later after he's calmed down, he brings up that far away warm place he spoke about. He wonders where that could even be anymore. Probably somewhere further than the moon. He wonders if he can go there. Then it's very suddenly Finley's funeral. People are crying. The priest is praying. People are swearing vengeance. Hugo, Chaltier, and Finley's voice echo in Leon's head. Hugo coercing Leon into poisoning Finley. Chaltier asking him not to do it. Finley telling Leon they're alike in that they both lost their parents at birth. That he'd like for Leon to think of him as his father, because he thinks of Leon as his son, I think. Hugo reminding him where his place is, and that that's never going to change. Finley succumbing to the poison, in disbelief that it was Leon, and desperately asking why. Leon's sure he's never going to get to that place. Hugo and friends do some villain talk and make some snide remarks at Leon, and he just says it's fine. He's defeated at this point.

(track 2-04 Rutee) Next track has Leon on his way to Cresta to look for whoever Rutee is. Chaltier recognizes the name a little but doesn't remember. Rutee runs into him and runs away, but Chaltier recognizes Atwight on her back right away and they give chase. Rutee's giving gifts to the kids at the orphanage, is asked how she made the money for this and she's like "eehh I worked really hard :D" Chal finally remembers Rutee was the name Chris spoke of before she died and he's super excited that Leon's not all alone, that he still has his sister. But Leon just runs away. Chal's like what the fuck, where are you going, and Leon says it's been 15 years, so it doesn't matter, they're not family. Chal keeps trying to get him to go back to Rutee, insisting she must have been looking for her family for a long time, and that he should reach out to her. Leon admits that he's scared that Rutee won't accept him. Chal tells him that's stupid. Leon admits he's scared of Rutee also betraying him like Hugo did, and cries that he's truly all alone. The track ends.

(track 2-05 Flow of Fate) Next track, it's revealed Greybaum's theft of the Eye of Atamoni was actually not in the plan. He did that on his own and betrayed them. They plan for Leon to lead the investigation and gather the swordian users. Leon asks if Hugo knows who wields Atwight, and Hugo, like a fox, says mmmyessss. During Leon's first real meeting with Rutee, while she goes off on him, he's thinking to himself that he wishes he met her sooner, but he's too dirtied to face her for real by now. Chaltier insists to him that it's not too late, but Leon refuses. A bunch of scenes of Leon traveling with Stahn's group pass. Leon thinks about how Rutee has good friends and a home and family to return to, and feels even worse that he can't be happy for her. He hates himself for it, but he can't help it. Chaltier tells him he could become a part of her family. Leon says it'd be nice, since he's being shown such a warm place, but he can't escape his fate. More scenes pass, and Leon is moved by Stahn's resolve. He thinks maybe he was wrong about fate, because everyone is fighting. More scenes pass, and Leon is even moved by Batista and Greybaum, because they went against Hugo. Even if they couldn't win against their fates, they still tried. He's confused and doesn't know what to do, but Chaltier doesn't have answers for him. The only thing he knows he can do is protect Marian. The only reason he has to keep living is Marian.

It continues in the mines. Hugo and friends say they need to buy time to escape Stahn's group. He tells Leon to stall them as long as possible, and then detonate an explosive. Tells him exactly what will happen, down to the sea water flooding in. So Leon absolutely knows he's going to die if he agrees to do this. Leon asks to be alone with Marian, as his first and final request as Hugo's son. Marian observes that Leon doesn't want to go through with this. Leon says it's fine, he'll just do what he's told. He asks why Marian is here, why she's still a maid for Hugo. Marian answers it's because Hugo was trying to save the world, or whatever. She owes him a lot. So she'll do whatever she's told, too. Leon asks what'll happen if he dies. Marian says she'll probably never stop crying. Leon asks how much, for how long, because it's not possible to cry for him for her whole life. Says she'll probably cry for a bit, but eventually she'll meet someone he doesn't know, fall in love, get married, and have children, and she'll forget all about him, and then he'll truly be gone and not exist anymore. He'll disappear. Leon cries, really hard. He pulls himself together, apologizes, says she should go. She goes, but she calls after him that it was fun. That being with him was like a dream. He says quietly to himself that, yeah, it was like a dream to him, too. (The wording is different from the opening song! Important to note because the remake did a full on title drop in its climax. The opening song is 「夢であるように」, but the wording here is 「夢みたい」. But it's still probably a 100% intentional reference to the opening song.) [I cut off here because I previously summarized these two posts about the end of this track, which is an exchange with Chaltier: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136997902840/i-dunno-if-its-possible-to-fall-in-love-with-a https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/137057162215/checked-with-a-friend-who-knows-more-japanese-and]

[I yada-yada'd track 2-06 Father, Friend because I already summarized it previously based on this post: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/143045097730/i-finally-typed-up-a-summary-of-father-friend]

(track 2-07 -Epilogue- Yes, My Lady) In the final track, Rutee is visiting Marian. She asks Marian to live with her. Marian declines, saying she has to keep Emilio's room clean for him for when he comes back. Rutee says he's already gone, but Marian interrupts and asks Rutee to dance. She teaches her how to dance. She calls Rutee "My lady" like Leon did with her.

-----------------------------

May I just say, if Leon retained his character from the drama CD in the remake, he absolutely would have broken down crying after Stahn convinced him they could work together to save Marian. And maybe hugged him or held his outstretched hand with both of his. While crying. Drama CD Leon is a huge crybaby and I'm so here for him. I was disappointed he didn't get to cry through the remake.

And also that hot damn, Hikaru Midorikawa was allowed to emote SO MUCH MORE in the drama CD than in the entirety of the remake, not even counting all the crying he does.

[greypetrel]

WIP Wednesd-FRIDAY

Tagged by @shivunin, thank you very much, friend! :D

As every week before Christmas, I had clients waking up from their slumber, and stuff I can't show to finish. So, it's a little doodle I did today. Moby Dick!Aisling taking a nap on the armchair. Also! Some writing under the cut, same AU. :3

Tagging: @whimsyswastry @melisusthewee @morgandarcyarts @theluckywizard whom I didn't bother today and YOU who are reading and have something to show!

🐳🐳🐳🐳

Everything was all but fine.

She flopped on the gunnel, staring at the letter held between her fingers and reading the elegant cursive again.

And again.

Everything was all but fine, and all she wanted to do was going right back home, slip under the covers and cry.

But if what the letter said was true, she couldn’t allow herself to. She couldn’t afford to skip a day.

Right now, it was of the utmost importance that she got right back on her feet, allow Isabela to move on, and do her job, do it quickly, do it better. But her hands won’t stop trembling and her vision blurred.

“Do you need a moment?”

It was Cassandra to reach her, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing, tight enough for her to feel under all the layers she had on. Nantucket was that much colder than her home, and today she missed the heat of the Mediterranean. She blinked tears away, and took a deep breath. She did need a moment, and she did need Cassandra’s determination, seeing a problem and solving it.

She shook her head and forced her legs to stand, smiling at the crew around her every woman looking at her with different shades of worry she had learnt to read as such in the months they’ve been working together.

Cassandra’s worry looked like her acting and taking command to solve the problem. Isabela’s looked like her being attentive and careful to the person she was worried about, with a joke to cheer them up or an ear to listen. Merrill’s was in compassion and encouragement, Hawke’s in an easy joke and in her doing your job for you. Sera was in sticking up close and helping you before you realised you needed help, and Dagna would ask her if she wanted to speak. She loved them, and she was grateful that they were there with her.

But it wasn’t the moment to lean on them. Not when they all leant on her instead and she was about to let them all down.

She smiled and nodded, crunching the letter in her hands.

“Sorry, I was just tired. We can go, I’m ready.”

Nobody was convinced, but she insisted, and finally Isabela ordered for moors to be unleashed, and for the little sloop they had to be brought to sea.

That was easy. She just needed to do her job.

Easy.

When the best they spotted that day was a group of pilot whales that kept their distances and didn’t let them approach, it wasn’t that much easy.

She didn’t even take one dive, that day, and it weighted on her shoulders more and more, as the hours passed and the ocean remained empty. She pushed them all to stay extra hours. She loved them all because everyone understood, and the worst complaint she got was worry and people asking her if everything was all right, they could talk. She felt even worse, and just shook her head and pushed through, looking through her spyglass with more effort. Just one sighting. Just one.

Cullen would have gotten back home by himself. He would have understood, no doubt.

[somewherebetweendisorder]

Cold Brew Love

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

A cofee shop AU

Warnings: angst, fluff, eventual smut

~~~

The lock slides home with a satisfying click, signaling the end of Eddie's day. He loves the bar, coated in water to slide drinks easier, the music, crackling through the ancient speakers, and most of the patrons. He likes them better when they're heading out for the night. The sound of glass on glass when the guys at the bar are toasting another weekend, the chorus of playful jeers when Mr. Birkman buys another round of shots that he can't afford. But when the day is done, there's nothing better than locking up and going home.

The air has shifted, the last remnants of September bleeding out into a cool October, leaves falling in fiery waves from the trees. His jacket vest combo is feeling a bit too thin, a bit too worn to fend off the chill, and he shivers against the autumn wind. Maybe he should grab a box of hot chocolate mix or something.

He slides into the van, wishing the heater worked better, wishing he could afford to fix it. It'll have to do until the next paycheck. That could be a gamble, knowing how cold it gets overnight, the new touch of frost lingering even in the sun. Driving slow, he debates a single cup of hot chocolate or a box of packets.

"They'll probably be the same price," he mumbles as he glances at the coffee shop to his left. It's the only place in Hawkins that sells just coffee, boasting the best cup in town, and Eddie avoids it like the plague.

He wouldn't stop; he swears to himself he wouldn't stop if he wasn't suddenly looking at the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Baggy jeans with battered Vans and a smile brighter than the dawn breaking over Hawkins. Hair loose, wind-whipped, and shining in the raw sunlight, you're taking orders in the line, moving from car to car with more poise than he's ever witnessed in one person, like a dancer.

That's all he needs to make a sharp left into the parking lot and pull in behind the other waiting cars, more eager to see you closer than he is for the hot coco he had been fantasizing about. The line creeps forward, agonizingly slow, but before he has a chance to gather himself, you're bounding up to his window with a cheerful grin and a perky, "What can I get you today?"

He freezes, words dying on the tip of his tongue, thoughts crashing together in a useless, messy heap. Hawkins is far from a large town. How has he never seen you before?

"Uh, do you have- Do you have hot chocolate?"

You grimace, frowning apologetically before you even speak.

"We do not, I'm sorry. It's obscene, really, but my boss doesn't take suggestions, so coffee and tea it is. Either of those sound good?"

Eddie shakes his head while speaking. "Yeah. Just- A small black coffee is fine. Thanks."

You seem unfazed by his behavior, tapping away at the tablet in your hands. "Okay, sweet. And can I get a name for the order?"

"Um, yeah, 'course. It's, uh, Eddie. With two d's."

"Eddie with two d's. Alright, they'll have your order ready at the window, Eddie."

He wants to stop you as you walk away, moving to the car behind his, wants to ask your name, but he's caught on the way you spoke his, saccharine and light like you weren't tilting his world upside down with those eyes and that smile.

"Get ahold of yourself, man."

The window slides open the moment he gets to it, a small paper cup shoved into his partially outstretched hand. It's hot, almost too hot to hold and he scoops the receipts and change out of his seldom-used cup holder frantically so he can set the cup down.

He doesn't spare a glance at the girl behind the window as he mumbles a thank you, doesn't really care if it's not you. A perfect stranger in every right, but he wants more. Feels like somehow he's seen you before. God, he must know you from a past life. What else could it be?

As he pulls away he chances a sip of the coffee. It's as bad as he remembers, searing his tongue, almost sludge-like in consistency. Setting the cup down he sighs, shaking his head. Still worth it. Of course, it was worth it.

The moment his van door jerks open with a loud creak he's popping the lid off the cup, pouring the drink out into the dry grass bordering the Munson drive.

~

"Well?"

"Well, what?" You turn to Krista as she hands out a cup of tea to a customer, never knowing where she's actually taking a conversation.

"That guy was cute."

You crane your head to see out the window, taking in the dark blue truck that you see come through regularly. "Wasn't that-?"

"Not him, the guy earlier. Eddie. The guy with the curls."

"Oh. Oh. That guy."

You saw him. Really saw him from his chipped black polish, contrasting the silver of his rings as his fingers drummed a nervous staccato beat against the steering wheel. The steering wheel that was peeling at the top, leather flaking away from the seam. His brown eyes were wide, almost too big for his face, looking anywhere but at you as he spoke. He would be impossible to ignore.

Not that you'd been here long, maybe two months, but most were regulars, ordering the same thing day in and day out thanks to small-town habits. You could relate to that, the familiarity of routine. The move had turned your world upside down, shaking up everything you knew and dropping you in Hawkins of all places. And you'd definitely never seen that guy before. Eddie. The name suited him, seemed to fit his cupid's bow and gangly frame just right.

"Yeah, that guy. What'd you think?"

"Um." What sort of question was that? How could you even answer? He seemed to be your type right down to his little flock of bats, but Krista talked too much, and really, it would be more fun to think of him without having to play twenty-one questions with her over your thoughts about a stranger.

"I don't even know him. How could I have an answer."

She laughs, shaking her head as though something about your dismissal of her question is funny. She laughs like she knows something, and it irritates you. Moving away you drop a dirty shot tin into the sink, watching it slowly fill with sudsy water, sinking to the bottom with a soft clink against the enamel.

~

Eddie is not a coffee person. He'd watched Wayne drink it every morning for years, sighing after the first sip, face bathed in steam from the freshly brewed cup. When Eddie worked up the courage to try it, he poured a full cup, eager to prove a point. His first sip was hot, searing his tongue, bitter as if he were drinking charcoal. Topping it off with milk or stirring in spoonfuls of sugar never made it better; it just tasted bad.

He preferred his brew, cold and malty, on draft at the bar. So why was he once again in the drive-thru of the only coffee shop in Hawkins, eagerly anticipating you opening the window to hand him the cup of black sludge he wasn't going to drink?

God, would you even be at the window? Yesterday you had been outside, but today he's the only one here, crawling out of the bar a bit later than usual.

The thin panel slides open with a squeak, revealing you, fresh-faced, hair pulled back, a few loose strands framing your face sweetly. You smile at the sight of him, eyes crinkling around the corners, making his long night worth it, nearly convincing him he should just drink the damn coffee today, instead of pouring it out.

"Hi, there! Back for more of Hawkins's best coffee?"

Eddie desperately wants to smile, offer a witty reply, with a cool practiced tone, as if he talks to pretty girls all the time. Like the nymphs in the woods come to visit when he makes his way out to his old table in the woods.

But as usual, he's speaking before he can really think it through, words tripping into each other, pitching off his tongue clumsily, cheeks tinting a faint pink.

"How'd you guess?"

Maybe it's not the worst thing he could have said. You giggle softly, turning to pour his cup of coffee, shaking your head a bit.

"Mm, I dunno. Guess I'm hoping we haven't lost the monopoly on the Hawkins' coffee market since yesterday. Offers me some job security."

It's a weird response, long, and over-indulgent like you're humoring him. The way you say it, clearly, quietly, almost like you're knee-deep in sharing a secret, voice ringing with sincerity has him pausing with his fingers outstretched for the cup. For a moment, he's not sure how to react. Does he love this, or hate it? Are you playing along out of pity?

You look up, meeting him in the void between the drive-thru window and his waiting hand, fingers brushing his palm, sending a wave of heat through him, goosebumps erupting across his arms, skin tingling like he was shocked by a live wire.

"Oh yeah, that's a real concern in this town. Better make sure no one sneaks off with the secret recipe."

"Don't worry. If anyone did, it would be me." You say it lightly, winking as you drag your hand away from his, lips twisted up into a jovial grin.

"Smart girl."

The car behind Eddie honks, loud and long, tired of waiting for him to pull forward.

"Sorry," Eddie begins, hastily setting his cup down, dark liquid sloshing out, spilling over his hand. "Fuck. Sorry! Didn't realize anyone was behind me. I'll um- I'll see ya later."

He's pulling away before you can say anything, your balmy laugh chasing him, treacly and soft.

He'll go back tomorrow. He knows he will, even as he pours another wasted cup into the Munson yard.

~

"Hey Pam, we're out of cream and green tea bags."

Your boss looks up from her phone, glasses perched on the end of her nose, blinking slowly as she processes your words. "Cross 'em off on the menu."

She's looking back at her phone, an obvious dismissal, abundantly clear after the last time you asked her to restock before her usual shopping day. Nodding to yourself you step away, moving back to the small prep area, snatching the nearly empty tip jar off the window ledge.

"Krista, wanna go grab cream and tea at the store?"

She watches you count the change out on the sticky countertop, neatly stacking the change and uncrinkling the bills.

"That's not gonna be enough, Miss Overachiever."

You look up, fingers curling tightly around the bill you had just been dutifully smoothing out. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Once, twice, three times.

"I'm aware. Just trying to figure out how much extra I need to give you."

Before you can finish she's pushing her way in, sliding the coins off the counter into her palm, crumpling the few bills again as she shoves them into her pocket.

"You're pathetic, spending money on a job that pays fuckin' peanuts. It's gonna cost at least another five. I'm only going because I love you so much."

"What would I do without you?" You pull out the neatly folded money in your back pocket, all you had for lunch, and pass it over.

She's breezing out the front door, the bell jingling, giving you away. Thankfully you weren't trying to keep this on the down low. Sagging against the cool metal work table you plant your hands on the edge, wincing when your palm lands in a tacky, half-dry puddle of cream. God, this job.

Small towns don't lend many options, but surely there's someplace better than this. Peeking through the narrow window you take in the strip across from the shop, small businesses just opening for the day.

Your eyes catch on the LED signs lining the record store's windows. That could be promising, music has always been an easy escape, a world to disappear into. It couldn't hurt to stop by, ask around, see if you can convince them they need two more hands to stock shelves. Any more time here and you might end up in trouble like before. A change might be good, sooner rather than later. 

~

"Alright, I've clocked out and wiped everything down for the night. You need anything else before I go?"

Pam doesn't look up, shuffling papers around on her cluttered desk, grunting in response. It's infuriating, the slight grating across your skin, itchy and hot. Why does she behave like this? Does it make her somehow feel better, powerful? You've worked with coffee before, it's the only reason she hired you, so why now are you so beneath her?

Taking this as your cue to go, you pivot on your heel, following the short hallway, shoving open the door with a stiff arm, enjoying the way it slams harshly as you exit. Maybe it's juvenile; hell, you know it is. But it feels nice.

The neon lights across the street call to you, orange and yellow and pink, promising something to ease the pain, a balm for another shift wasted. You start to cross the street, remembering to look for oncoming traffic at the last second, Docs scuffing harshly against the curb. You lick your thumb, bend over, try to soothe the rough patch away in vain. It's a tiny thing, the mark, the curb, the day in general, but suddenly everything is an avalanche. Teeth clenched so tight a sharp pain worms its way through your jaw, you straighten, growling out a repressed scream, nails biting into the delicate flesh of your palms.

Sky dark, sun dipping low as the peachy gray smear of dusk fades, you step out into the street, skirting a pothole, shoving your fisted hands deep into the pockets of your jacket. Ten more steps and you'll be crossing into warmth and a universal familiarity. Five more steps and the music will touch you, pick up the pieces of this day. Three steps and your fingers will be curling around the frigid handle of the door. Two steps, one, and then sanctuary.

Chimes above the door jingle softly, calling attention to your presence as you try to slip in unnoticed. The carpet is thin, rough, scraping against the worn soles of your shoes, hues of purple and blue rippling away from your feet in odd geometric patterns.

The store smells musty, an old, lingering smell, like it's never really been cleaned well permeates that air, mingles with the low sounds of guitar and bass trickling through the speakers around the store. Records are stacked neatly on the counter, high enough to hide whoever is working the register, business cards spilling across the surface that vinyl isn't occupying. The shelves are filled, new and used, categorized by genre, then alphabetized.

The general organization of it all had your toes curling in a simple sort of pleasure as you make your way deeper into the store, allowing your fingertips to brush along the faces of a few covers, smiling when you find one of your favorites.

Near the back of the space, the light dims, a small stage and seating area nearly concealed by the shelves and racks of records and vintage stereo and photography equipment. It's an odd assortment, none of it really cohesive, yet it fits all the same.

"Ten minutes 'til close!"

You jump, startled, turning to face the front. The counter is blocked from view, and you wonder if it is a general announcement or if you are expected to answer. All that's left to look at is a thin rotating rack with a hand-drawn sign above it that reads "Local Talent".

A cover catches your attention, crudely drawn, but with intent, with care, like the artist wanted nothing more than to see their vision to life by any means. The edges look burned intentionally, the design lingering with you, preventing you from skipping over it.

"Corroded Coffin," you whisper to yourself, fingers curling over the edge, tipping it toward you as though it's fragile, some great epiphany hiding just behind it. Nothing jumps out, nothing feels different as you flip the CD over, reading the song titles, feeling some odd sense of kinship forming with the mind behind these songs. You haven't even listened to it yet, and it's speaking to you like this, one of those instincts. When you know, you know.

Stepping away from the stand you hold the case close to your chest, protective, or using it as a shield from what you don't know, but it remains there until you get back to the front. The case hits the counter with a muted tap, cheap green laminate an ugly backsplash.

The man behind the counter is older, thick-framed glasses drawing your attention to the pale blue eyes that skirt over you, uninterested, assessing, quickly drawing judgment; you don't belong here. A beat passes before he reaches for the item you set down, scanning it and placing it in a bag.

"That'll be $12.97."

"Sure thing. Here ya go," you extend your hand, credit card dangling between limp fingers, confidence long gone, eager to run away. "It's um- This is a really nice shop."

"Thanks."

That's it. He passes your card back with the bag, not even looking at you, as dismissive as Pam. And it's even worse the second time around, bile churning in the pit of your stomach, inching up your throat, fingers twitching with anger, jaw ticking.

"Listen, actually, I came over to see if you need any help. Part-time, or full-time. I can stock, clean, run the register. I work at the coffee shop right over there." You pause to gesture uselessly, fingers curling into a fist mid-air. "I'm a hard worker. And I know music."

He does look at you now as you deflate, burst of esteem withering like a flower without sunlight, hungry and dying, crawling in on yourself. His face is riddled with doubt, lips twisted up like he smells something rotten, putrid, and noxious.

"We're not hiring right now, sorry."

He doesn't look very sorry as he shifts, getting to his feet, reaching for the keys at his belt pointedly.

"Okay. Thank you for your time."

The bells rattle again, far less cheery this time around, the sound is monotonous, hollow. As the metal door thuds closed behind you you shake your head, trying to dislodge the thoughts clawing their way up in your mind, decomposing figures breaking through the soil, ready to torment, ready to hurt. You just need it all to be quiet.

Jogging back across the road you pull out your keys and unlock your car, all but falling into the seat, unable to relax but dissolving into the worn fabric all the same. Assholes, all of them. Your fingers flex, squishing against firm plastic, reminding you of the new treasure clutched tightly in your hands. Tearing off the cellophane, crinkling it loudly in the stale air lingering in your car. The CD slides in, a soft whir as it begins to play, deep bass beginning to leak through the speakers, the ones that still work anyway.

It's real, the music, every note hitting some tattered cord within you, licking the pain away, replacing it with some small measure of relief. You can't help the smile playing on your lips, barely there, but there all the same as you slam the gear shift into drive. Apparently, not everything in this town sucks.